Written 4/25/12 by ChristopherK2 for the Uglier MDers blog)
With the Zombies now having LOTS of time on their hands as their LITTLE room dies off, each has been seeking out new ways to fill in the endless hours. Following are some of their ideas thus far.
10. Vomit is refining his recipe for Carpburgers and developing marketing plans.
9. Beth is proofreading her tell-all book, "How I Was Zombified. (It Was ALL Zeeke's Fault!)"
8. Zeeke is planning on increasing his comments on Vomit's blog to 250 a day.
7. Alan just received his order from Breck's for 12,000 flower bulbs.
6. Wilson has been checking out other chat rooms with good "quantity regardless of quality" characteristics.
5. Zeeke is developing macros for the 25,000 unrequited insults he hurled at me in the chat room just in case we're ever together again in a room.
4. SxyMAFlA is doing final editing on 10 more scary pics of herself.
3. Trinkin has posted his dating profile (with his "I Hate Drama!" mantra) to 23 more dating websites.
2. Beth is reading "Cooking for Total Beginners." She's already finished Chapter 1, "How to Boil Water."
And the Number 1 Activity of a Zombie as Their Chat Room Dies Is...
1. Zeeke is adding 100 different "Jesus Loves Me" spiritual posters a day to his Facebook News Feed
We all know Vomit's an idiot. And we all can totally see him clicking all day. BUT..one would have never expected him to HONESTLY admit to that though.
It's not easy being married to a hottie. Since I've met Monika I've never been able to take my eyes off her. She is the best damn woman I've ever seen. I hate to brag, but I just gotta. This is what 500 crunches a day does for you.
(Written 4/18/12 by ChristopherK2 for the Uglier MDers blog)
PRIOR HISTORY
As I mentioned in my 2/12/12 article, the Coolest room had declined from its lofty earlier days of being fairly popular to an average of just 7.8 people in January.
It held onto that average in February, but with some ominous signs. It compensated for those with huge increases by SxyMAFIA, Muddy, and Pretty. But meanwhile, Bitch, NotWithout, and SMPinkrose disappeared.
Worse, a nasty trend developed of several regulars drastically reducing their times in the room. Dee was about to vanish, and there were major drops by Ham, Hooters, and SexyDoll. This trend would become a virtual flood in March and April, crippling their room.
MARCH--THE MASS EXODUS BEGINS
The departures and reductions dropped the overall average number of people in the Coolest room from about 8 in January and February to just *5.8* in March, a huge hit.
Several regulars left entirely, including Dee, Eminence, Legs, and Muddy. But the major negative factor was people sharply reducing their time in the room. And the biggest news there was Beth, whose attendance plummeted by about 85%. Others who cut back by half or more included Hooters, Felony, Ponie, Rooster, Sexydoll, and Trikin. And there were also substantial reductions by Aint, Jmb, Pantry, Perky, and Pretty.
APRIL--COOLEST GOES ONTO LIFE SUPPORT
If you thought an average of 5.8 people was BAD enough, how about 4.7? That's what Coolest averaged in the first half of April. And that average actually worsened as the month has worn on, so it's now even lower.
They again entirely lost several regulars, including Hooters, Pretty, and Feefers. But once again, the major effect was caused by people not showing up nearly as often or for nearly as long. Many of those mentioned above reduced their time even more. And Bak and Alan did, too.
There are now several who are around so seldom that they may soon disappear entirely, including Aint, Bak, Ham, Ponie, Rooster, Sexydoll, Trikin, and Alan.
OVERALL
There are some frightening (if you're a member of their nasty little clique) statistics since January.
The number of people passing thru their room has plummeted from 40 in January to just 18 thru mid-April.
Their peak number so far in April is just 12 on April 3rd. Otherwise, they haven't reached even double-digits in April. And the majority of the time they have four or fewer people there.
They have become far more concentrated in the past few months. Now, a bit over 70% of their attendance is accounted for by just four people: MAFIA, Zeeke, Vomit, and Wilson. That essentially means that nearly ALL of the time, it's just them or them plus one or two others.
They've also become primarily an early evening room. If those hours are dropped, it would pretty much just be MAFIA, Zeeke, Vomit, and Wilson yammering at each other.
THE FUTURE
How BAD is attendance in the Coolest room? Well, for a perspective, it's now averaging about the same number of people as MY room did as recently as mid-October. And mine was dead by late-December.
The end of a chat room can come VERY quickly.
Soooooooooo, I think we should officially start a Dead Pool on Coolest! What's YOUR guess???
Let the emails, IMs and phone calls BEGGING people to return to their room begin! Poor poor Vomit... Poor poor Zeeke...
Oh, and it's hard to not notice that--now that they have little to do in their room--they're posting a LOT on Vomit's blog. It's all, of course, ugly attacks on me, Bonnie, or this blog. What else have they EVER commented about?
Rarely do the Uglies share personal things. The below post prompted me to write this.
My name is Monika, and I AM AN ALCOHOLIC. I am not ashamed. I'm not afraid to admit it.
I've been sober for 24 years. Both Rocco and I come from alcoholic backgrounds. My father died at 41 from a heart attack after continuing to drink after doctor's told him to stop. My mother is 74 and has been through 13 rehabs. Both Rocco's parents died early from drinking. (Rocco doesn't drink for the record).
I'm sharing this because it might just help another suffering alcoholic and that is what keeps me sober.
My journey began in high school in Vancouver. I had a set of friends from childhood and we were tight. One night Tabby asked me to sneak out and go to a party with her since there was a guy there she was nuts about. I did just this. She asked me to drink which I didn't want to do. My father had died of drinking and I was strictly against it. However, I wanted to be a good friend, so I drank a glass of wine. It was hard to swallow at first but after the first gulp settled in I was amazed. I had never felt so awesome. I gulped another. And another. I didn't get sick. (I still think if I had my journey would have taken another path).
After this, every weekend was a party. Tabby, Mena, Linda, and I were at every party there was. We had a blast it always seemed, but somehow I always forgot that half the night was bonding while holding each other's hair while we puked. Or that our grades went from As and Bs to Cs and Ds soon after. Or how all of our allowance was spent on aspirin.
By 16, Mena had moved away and Linda was not allowed to hang around us cause of a bad drunk scene I won't go into. Just Tab and I now, and we went deeper and deeper. What was weekend parties became weekday parties. We were brought home endless times by the RCP to our homes. Tabby soon got pregnant and had to stop. So, I did too. The day after Jonathan was born she was back to partying and soon lost her son to her mother. She got pregnant again in 12th grade and I decided to follow a guy I was in love with to college.
He dumped me the second week of college cause I was a barfly he said. To prove him wrong, I studied like crazy and by November I was all F's and all A's at the local bar. I was sued by a credit card company and every charge on there was from a bar. I was hit by a car when I staggered and fell in the middle of the street. I lost a huge modeling job cause of drinking made me gain weight. I was rushed to the hospital twice when my blood pressure went to dangerous levels. I started doing all kind of drugs to help me get up, go to sleep, feel okay, feel tired.
By 22, I had professionals telling me I needed to turn my life around. I didn't listen and it got worse. I was arrested in the states for drinking and driving and fled the court date. I was terminated from a job cause I kept coming in late. I stole money from my Aunt to drink. I tried geographical relocations to solve my problem moving to France, US, and Germany. All I did was drink more and more. I got up in the morning drinking, I went to work drunk, and eventually it all crumbled.
One morning, I awoke at 23 years old in an alley in Toronto, and still cannot remember how I got there. I was full of puke, shivering, lacking of colour, and in severe pain. I had long since been kicked out of my mother's house, flunked out of my first college, job less, about 96 lbs, and had a broken arm and a fractured rib cage. I awoke cuddling a homeless man of about 55 courtesy of a police officer asking why we were doing this on a streetwalk. I had hit bottom.
Right across the road was a hospital. I went over there and told them I needed help. Within two hours I was entered in a rehabilitation center. It was very hard at first. I had to counter demons I didn't want to. I had to acknowledge that perfect me was not perfect. I had to admit my wrongs to others and apologize. The worst part, I had to own my behavior and modify it. The first year was hard. I got married impulsively and divorced. I moved to another country. I moved back. I moved again. I moved back. I moved in with my mother.
After one year of pure hell, I picked up a chip for being sober. I have never been so happy in my life.
After awhile, I accepted me for who I was. Life got better. I went back to college and got my degree. I bought a home. I ran a marathon. I won first place in a cookoff. I met Ugly. We moved across the continent. We moved again. I got engaged. I started a business. Then he started a business. I had two kids.
I did all this completely sober. I'm proud that I can look at my kids and say they've never seen their mother drink. I never knew this as a kid my parents were always drunk. I recently sent my almost adult son to a school he's been talking about forever. (He wants a career as a zoologist). This would have never happened sober. He's of come home like I did to help his mother walk to the bathroom to piss like I did.
I'm sharing this because there is help out there. Alcoholism is all over, hits every race, religion, sex, and income level there is. I had a huge modeling contract that I lost cause of drinking. I lost my family relations, my self-respect, my connection with a higher power, my friends, my family, my education, so much. I'm grateful as hell I only spent 7 years with this too. I've seen much worse in AA.
Nancy - Nancy would be known as the Nascar Drunk lady. She'd spend all day at a race track screaming at cars while getting drunk and popping pills. Her evenings would vary, some days she'd be arrested after attacking someone for someone pointing out she pissed in her pants, other days she'd just nod off in her seat, other days she'd be carried out of the park.
Rose - Would been seeing working at the local Walmart, McDonald's, Burger King, gas station, and Bob Evans. After a month at one, she'd get fired, move to the other one, and eventually just move to another town when she used them all up. In the evenings she'd be seen leaving with some fat biker dude and give him a rim job and head in the parking lot for $20 and demand he tells all his friends how hot she is.
Vomit - Prison. After his 9th DWI, they'd ship him away.
Cindy - Would probably fair better than the rest. She'd drop about 20 real quick when she had to start driving to people's houses to stalk them instead of monitoring their online times and do google searches for them.
Billy - Would become the Grand Dragon of the Frederick KKK. He'd lose a couple more teeth two from being punched in the mouth.
Perky - She'd lay on the couch all day watching Lifetime Dramas and eating endless Snicker bars.
MVM - We'd read about MVM blowing up a building cause of some woman who worked there who rejected him and told others his penis size.
Pikle - He'd move in with his son and try to hang out with his son and his son's friends so he felt younger. Someone would film him trying to act 30 years younger than he is and it would go viral.
Alan and Pantry - They'd be on the slabs in no time from drinking themself to death.
Patti - Poor Patti, she'd simply come out of the closet as a lesbian.
Lois - Would spend her evenings writing her boyfriend, and the weekends driving seven hours one way to visit him in prison, and would faithfully put half her paycheck in his canteen and promise to check his prison pen pals site for any chics interested in him.
Beth - Would move to Tulsa, Oklahoma and get a job at a stable, sleep on hay at night, and save her money up to have lots of plastic surgery.
We stayed in a beautiful banda and had days of snorkeling. Went to the Serengeti National forest and saw a gigantic crater, cheetahs, zebras, and even a lion after we settled Frac into his boarding school. He'll greatly enjoy living here since he can shit somewhere other than a toilet, but not sure how he's going to take eating rhinoceros burgers and wearing a robe.
