(Written 11/22/11 by PrancerTheSwami for the Uglier MDers Blog. A tip of the hat to Xxyesmemike, who contributed to this article.)
The Swami can't be sure how many "Zeeke Dollars" Zeeke has amassed from his lucrative career as a junk dealer, or even WTF a Zeeke Dollar is. So, without any cost restraints, here are The Swami's best suggestions for his most adoring fan.
10. Buy 10 *more* muscle T-shirts in XXXL for those big social occasions.
9. Pay an attorney to get that disgusting entry for "Firearms-Access by Minor" expunged from Zeeke's extensive judiciary site record.
8. Two words: Personal Trainer.
7. Two more words: Hair Stylist. (Dump the hedge clippers!)
5. Pay a couple of the Lesser Zombies to hold and monitor all of those extra chat rooms 24/7.
4. Get a dental implant for that gaping hole so Zeeke won't seem quite so "stoopit" when he criticizes OTHER people about their teeth.
3. Put a good criminal attorney on retainer, to handle the family's MANY problems.
2. Hire a publicist to promote his new book, "How to be a Successful AOL Bully."
And the Number 1 Suggestion for Spending the "Empire of Zeeke Dollars" is...
1. Buy a sleazy bar for those many nights Zeeke and the Zombies get "piss drunk" together!
hahahahahahahahaha
ReplyDeleteThis article is a hoot, Christopher. Right on the mark with all ten suggestions. I think my favorite is #4.
ReplyDeleteSo Billy is a junk dealer now? Sweet...lol
Christopher you hit the nail on the head. Billy looks like a silly goat.
ReplyDeleteIs Ryan Lewis playing football this year? Stand by.
ReplyDelete<< hahahahahahahahaha >>
ReplyDelete<< Christopher you hit the nail on the head. >>
<< This article is a hoot, Christopher. Right on the mark with all ten suggestions. >> RedSky
The Swami bows to his adoring fans...
K2 figures you'd be on here Thanksgiving not like you have any family or any freinds you gay asshole licker.
ReplyDeleteChris, you have outdone your self again, as usual. Again you have proven what a fat slob, idiot, bum, zeek is. Toooo Funnnnyyyy
ReplyDelete<< So Billy is a junk dealer now? Sweet...lol >>
ReplyDeleteThe Swami isn't intimately familiar with careers in that field, and admits he may be somewhat off there. Zeeke described in a recent article on his blog how he had recently made a trip to the dump with a "truck full of old motors, industrial shelving and random heavy metal things... 1300 pounds of scrap metal."
The Swami also thought that Zeeke was too impressed with himself for putting that much weight into a truck. The Swami never EVER brags, but notes in passing that he recently put *3,200* pounds of mulch around his flower beds, which involved lifting and moving each bag five times... a total of 16,000 lbs. The Swami would be only too happy to give his most adoring fan some tips on lifting *serious* amounts of stuff.
<< K2 figures you'd be on here Thanksgiving not like you have any family or any freinds >>
ReplyDeleteThe Swami will be right back with his buddy, Mr. Obvious, to respond.
<< Chris, you have outdone your self again, as usual. Again you have proven what a fat slob, idiot, bum, zeek is. Toooo Funnnnyyyy >> Takoma
ReplyDeleteThe Swami bows to his adoring fan...
K2 when you going to get real and admit you suck dick? Come on now enough is enough.
ReplyDeleteRichard, are you running your potty mouth again? You really need to get "dick" off of your mind. It isn't healthy, seek therapy!
ReplyDeleteChris you are wonderful!!!! I Just love your articles and #4 was the topper of the list as far as I am concerned. Zeek has no room to talk about anyone else about not having teeth. God he is such a moron.
ReplyDeleteChris can you seriously dump Pamela there's so many women who want you.
ReplyDeleteThe truth behind Billy's trip to the dump is that his sister is making him get rid of all of his junk and garbage that he had scattered throughout his Mom's property.
ReplyDeleteThe freeloading bum.
Billy ain't been online much cause he has to look for a place to live now that his sisters want to sell Mom's house. Will he move in with Ham? Hell no. Well maybe Cindy can squeeze him in her section 8 rental.
ReplyDeleteALL IS WELL TODAY ON THANKSGIVING I DID SUCK COCK TODAY
ReplyDeleteTHIS IS A WONDERFUL LIFE I HAVE BEING A TOOTHLESS TRUCKER,PLAYING WITH MYSELF,MY BARF CHAIR,MY PRISON TATS,MY BODY BUILDING IM ATTENDING WORKOUTS,DENTAL CARE,AND BEING ABLE TO SUCK COCK ON THIS HOLIDAY I HAVE ALOT TO BE THANKFUL FOR.. QUEER BOB B.
ReplyDeleteHEY QUEER BOB CAN YOU CUM AND PUT SOMETHING IN MY STOCKING WITH A PACKAGE OF WEINERS. QUEER BOB WOULD YOU LIKE TO BUTTFUCK ME????
ReplyDeleteHEY QUEER BOB BRING ME A PACK OF KOOLS AND YOU CAN BUTTFUCK BRANDON
ReplyDeleteI WAS GOING TO MY DAUGHTERS HOUSE FOR THANKSGIVING TILL THEY TOLD ME NOT TO BRING MY DRUNK ASS OVER THERE THEY DID NOT HAVE ANY BOOZE. I ONLY WANTED THE BOOZE FUCK THE TURKEY ANYBODY GOT ANYLEFT OVER BOOZE I WILL TAKE IT EMAIL ME AT SVAPAM@AOL.COM
ReplyDeleteHAPPY HOLIDAYS FROM QUEER BOB AND ALL THE OTHER TOOTHLESS TEAMLESS LOSERS. I WILL STILL LEAD THIS PACK AND CONTINUE THE PATH I'M ON.
ReplyDeleteDoes the toothless teamless losers include Billy,Nanci and Judy? It seems they are toothless or lacking teeth as well. I am sure they aren't the only zombies missing teeth.
ReplyDelete<< Richard, are you running your potty mouth again? You really need to get "dick" off of your mind. It isn't healthy, seek therapy! >>
ReplyDeleteSeek therapy? Hmmm... The Swami is having a thought. Zombie Therapy! The Swami sees MANY fine articles coming from that idea! The Swami thanks whomever that was!
<< Chris you are wonderful!!!! I Just love your articles... >>
ReplyDeleteThe Swami bows to his adoring fan...
<< and #4 was the topper of the list as far as I am concerned. Zeek has no room to talk about anyone else about not having teeth. >>
The Swami doesn't think Zeeke has "room to talk about" much of anything, except getting "piss drunk." The Swami concedes Zeeke's expertise at that.
Missing teeth and brains oh my.
ReplyDelete<< Chris can you seriously dump Pamela there's so many women who want you. >>
ReplyDeleteThe Swami would never EVER dump Lovely Pamela. It did take her awhile to get used to the constant stream of Hot Babes knocking on The Swami's door for some Swami Love. But then she began thinking several of them were rather "cute" or some such Chick Chat.
Now The Swami has regular 3-ways and even an occasional 4-way. The Swami is almost exhausted. The Swami needs a vacation! Poor, poor Swami...
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ReplyDelete<< Billy ain't been online much cause he has to look for a place to live now that his sisters want to sell Mom's house. Will he move in with Ham? Hell no. >>
ReplyDeleteThe Swami thinks you're being too hasty. The Swami has seen the inside of Beth's townhouse on several occasions. Let's just say that she could use a maid. And Zeeke is also apparently good at walking dogs and cleaning up their dooty.
So, Zeeke as... maid... dooty cleaner-upper...
Have you ever looked at those horseteeth of yours Kfag ?
ReplyDelete<< The Swami has seen the inside of Beth's townhouse on several occasions. Let's just say that she could use a maid. >>
ReplyDeleteThe Swami forgot about Beth's splendid cooking talents. She's outstanding! Hmmm... oh wait, that was Beth's first response when asked why she could actually tolerate Zeeke (something unfathombable to normal people).
As a cook, let's just say that Beth once burned water. Oh wait... that was The Swami's first girlfriend.
Hmmm... oh, now The Swami remembers. The first 10 numbers on Beth's speed dial are restaurants and such that deliver! Yay Domino's!
Zeeke, on the other hand, even bragged in the room about knowing the finer points of cake frostings!
So, Zeeke as Beth's maid... dooty cleaner-upper, AND cake froster! Sounds like a plan!
Such jealousy!
ReplyDelete<< The truth behind Billy's trip to the dump is that his sister is making him get rid of all of his junk and garbage that he had scattered throughout his Mom's property. >>
ReplyDeleteThe Swami mistakenly thought that 1,300-lb. pile of "old motors, industrial shelving and random heavy metal things" behind Zeeke's Mom's house was an attempt at post-modernistic art. The Swami concedes his lack of knowledge there because The Swami is into French Impressionism.
Gurly fag, you don't know what metal is so stfu.
ReplyDeleteK2 did you have green cum casserole tonight?
ReplyDelete<< you don't know what metal is >> Bak
ReplyDeleteA few other stupid things recently said by Zombies:
"I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father." (Eminence)
"Stop being so stupid.. it’s my turn." (Zeeke, to Vomit)
"I swear to drunk, I’m not God!" (Vomit)
"My imaginary friend thinks you have some serious problems." (Beth, to Zeeke)
"I was wondering why the frisbee was getting bigger... then it hit me." (Bak)
"When I was first called stupid, I had to look the word up." (Trikin)
i just like to repeat myself i did suck cock yesterday and i am proud of myself
ReplyDeleteHow can any of those losers stand behind someone who harassed the family who lost a child?
ReplyDeleteMy son brandon bought me a new crack pipe I will always cherish it
ReplyDelete<< How can any of those losers stand behind someone who harassed the family who lost a child? >>
ReplyDeleteThey're also very aware of Zeeke's extensive and ugly Judiciary site record (and probably those of his close family members), yet they choose to either ignore or rationalize them. Why they do so remains a mystery...