(Written 12/29/11 by ChristopherK2 for the Uglier MDers blog)
A mysterious "someone" sent these to me, I swear! Not MY words at all! They were *supposedly* drafted at a recent "get piss drunk" meeting of Zeeke and the Zombies.
Zeeke
1. Reduce beer intake to 10 Buds a day.
2. Find a hovel to live in before Sis kicks me out of Mom's house.
3. Use some of those Zeeke Dollars to buy dental insurance.
4. Write a mushy, romantic poem to compete with The Swami.
5. Raise the average time to write a blog article to *4* minutes.
6. Tear up 33% more pussy.
Beth
1. Perfect my Royal Wave.
2. Avoid dumpsters.
3. Cook *1* meal a month.
4. Learn how to type "cocksuckingjewfagbitch" without gagging.
5. Rearrange the dust bunnies in the living room once a week.
Vomit
1. Suck Zeeke's ass 50% less.
2. Teach Zeeke's nephew how to sleep thru AA meetings with his eyes open.
3. Do a better job of hiding my ugly racism.
4. Take The Swami's suggestion about blowing up my "office" and starting over.
5. Finish reading "Blogs for Dummies" *and* "Little Jokes for Little Folks."
Eminence
1. Find a stalk-worthy replacement for Eyore.
PRETTTYONE
1. Test that whole Swami Love thing over and over and over...
Brunette/SMPinkrose/etc.
1. Continue to stay OUT of Zeeke's room of total losers!
Perky/Alan
1. Give up the ruse and get on with our lives!
Baktoogood
1. Substantially reduce that 15 Twinkies a day habit.
Trikin
1. Look for a different dating web site that actually guarantees privacy.
2. Try out dreadlocks!