Let it roll baby roll

Jeezy Peezy, how many rolls do these butterballs have? Why do women let themself turn into such emotional and unhealthy train-wrecks?

Monika's New Year's Rez is I'm going to steal this blog from Rocco in 2012. He's already picking out my new Beamer since he can't stay off his yes *13* blogs. Since I'm physical fit and take very damn good good care of myself, I'm going to help out the less fortunate. There are people out there causing serious eyesores to others!

Let's promote health in 2012. Maybe some of these Zombie women would get fucking lives if they dropped some weight and learned how to dress, talk, look, talk to men, and act correct in public. I'm of course majorally OVER-qualified for this position, here's a picture Rocco took a little while ago while we were out shopping for a Sapphire ring to go with my outfit tonight. No fat on me baby (except my ass of course).


So what topic should we start off with in 2012 ladies?

Happy New Year's from the Uglies.

Swami forgot a couple and I definitely wanted to make sure we had them checked with NY Rezesss.

Nanci how about humiliating yourself less in public in 2012 hon?

Patti you think you could separate yourself from at least one of your twelve rolls this year?

The rest of you Zombies PLEASE STAY on AOL and leave our roads safe from piss-ass drunks, whoops I was talking about Zombies so let me rephrase, "pissed pants and shit drawers drunks".

Happy New Year's to Igor and the Swami and our HUGE and awesome fan club out there from Monika the hottie and my blog obsessed hub (who vowels to only blog once a week in 2012 and by next week he'll be buying me a new Beamer when he loses this bet). Some girls have all the luck, others have none, and if you need living proof stare at the pictures!

"New Year's Resolutions for Zeeke and the Zombies"

(Written 12/29/11 by ChristopherK2 for the Uglier MDers blog)

A mysterious "someone" sent these to me, I swear! Not MY words at all! They were *supposedly* drafted at a recent "get piss drunk" meeting of Zeeke and the Zombies.

Zeeke
1. Reduce beer intake to 10 Buds a day.
2. Find a hovel to live in before Sis kicks me out of Mom's house.
3. Use some of those Zeeke Dollars to buy dental insurance.
4. Write a mushy, romantic poem to compete with The Swami.
5. Raise the average time to write a blog article to *4* minutes.
6. Tear up 33% more pussy.

Beth
1. Perfect my Royal Wave.
2. Avoid dumpsters.
3. Cook *1* meal a month.
4. Learn how to type "cocksuckingjewfagbitch" without gagging.
5. Rearrange the dust bunnies in the living room once a week.

Vomit
1. Suck Zeeke's ass 50% less.
2. Teach Zeeke's nephew how to sleep thru AA meetings with his eyes open.
3. Do a better job of hiding my ugly racism.
4. Take The Swami's suggestion about blowing up my "office" and starting over.
5. Finish reading "Blogs for Dummies" *and* "Little Jokes for Little Folks."

Eminence
1. Find a stalk-worthy replacement for Eyore.

PRETTTYONE
1. Test that whole Swami Love thing over and over and over...

Brunette/SMPinkrose/etc.
1. Continue to stay OUT of Zeeke's room of total losers!

Perky/Alan
1. Give up the ruse and get on with our lives!

Baktoogood
1. Substantially reduce that 15 Twinkies a day habit.

Trikin
1. Look for a different dating web site that actually guarantees privacy.
2. Try out dreadlocks!

When the Wilmington lies come marching in

How come neither of our bed-pan carriers are really in the medical field like they profess? https://dpronline.delaware.gov/mylicense%20weblookup/Search.

How nothing comes up under any of their names? Nor is there any licenses under Bradshaw, who the BBW claims to be married to but really isn't.

Truth is bloated Nancy just graduated about seven months ago from a medical assistant program. See her talking about it here. (Lots of good shots of the BBW in her medical scrubs on that page, btw, but we won't post them here)...

And what has happened to dear Lynnzy? Someone posted earlier she was in a battered woman's shelter. Her face does look quite broke up here.

Truth coming soon

Stayed tuned it's juicy.

Everywhere there's a herp

Old McHerp had a farm, ouchie ouchie ow
And on this farm he had a blister
Ouchie Ouchie Ow
With a Herp outbreak here, a herp outbreak there
Everywhere Rose has been there's a herp outbreak
Old McRose has a blister, ouchie, ouchie ow

So Rose finally came out she has herpes?

Come on tell me - WHO DO YOU LOVE?

Come on take a little walk with me child, tell me who do you love?
Who do you love?
Who do you love?

Put-the-bottle-down-Ronnie's last three blogs
Secret Ronnie dollars = 0 comments
His only begotten son = 4 comments
Top AOL news = 0 comments

Move-out-of-Momma's-house-Billy's last three blogs
10 days till Christmas = 0 comments
Another milestone = 0 comments
Stark control = 0 comments

Ugly's-Rocking-Blog last three

When will Billy Move out = 51 comments
Rocco = 30 comments
End of the Ugliness = 303 comments

Where will Billy move now?

Now that Mom's gone, Billy will have to finally "Move Out" at nearly 50. Where will he go? Check your choice and feel free to add more to this list. Here's my guesses.

A. He'll move back to the dumpy trailer in WV.
B. He'll live in his dumpy pickup truck.
C. He'll show up on Bonnie's doorstep.

Rocco

is having forum withdrawls.

Monika