Friday, December 30, 2011

"New Year's Resolutions for Zeeke and the Zombies"

(Written 12/29/11 by ChristopherK2 for the Uglier MDers blog)

A mysterious "someone" sent these to me, I swear! Not MY words at all! They were *supposedly* drafted at a recent "get piss drunk" meeting of Zeeke and the Zombies.

Zeeke
1. Reduce beer intake to 10 Buds a day.
2. Find a hovel to live in before Sis kicks me out of Mom's house.
3. Use some of those Zeeke Dollars to buy dental insurance.
4. Write a mushy, romantic poem to compete with The Swami.
5. Raise the average time to write a blog article to *4* minutes.
6. Tear up 33% more pussy.

Beth
1. Perfect my Royal Wave.
2. Avoid dumpsters.
3. Cook *1* meal a month.
4. Learn how to type "cocksuckingjewfagbitch" without gagging.
5. Rearrange the dust bunnies in the living room once a week.

Vomit
1. Suck Zeeke's ass 50% less.
2. Teach Zeeke's nephew how to sleep thru AA meetings with his eyes open.
3. Do a better job of hiding my ugly racism.
4. Take The Swami's suggestion about blowing up my "office" and starting over.
5. Finish reading "Blogs for Dummies" *and* "Little Jokes for Little Folks."

Eminence
1. Find a stalk-worthy replacement for Eyore.

PRETTTYONE
1. Test that whole Swami Love thing over and over and over...

Brunette/SMPinkrose/etc.
1. Continue to stay OUT of Zeeke's room of total losers!

Perky/Alan
1. Give up the ruse and get on with our lives!

Baktoogood
1. Substantially reduce that 15 Twinkies a day habit.

Trikin
1. Look for a different dating web site that actually guarantees privacy.
2. Try out dreadlocks!

31 comments:

  1. THANKS UGLY FIRST COMMENT TWICE IN A ROW OK MY WISH IS IM QUEER IN 2011 I WILL STILL BE QUEER IN 2012 QUEER BOB BOLEK JR(HARVARD GRADUATE)

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  2. Is there a real person name Bob Bolek? If there is I suppose he is gay I would like to meet him.

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  3. H has been a queer his whole life why do you wish for him to change.

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  4. Speaking of ugly man the picture of rose on this blog

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  5. Rosiepoop, Robert-biggest loser Casey, Billy, Cindy, Ronnie, Ollie, and the rest should just commit suicide.

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  6. Sounds like Beth has zero domestic skills.

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  7. The Harem of Billy Lewis. LMAO

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  8. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  9. << hysterical K2 >>
    << Great >>

    Thanks, I appreciate that. It was FUN to write!

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  10. << Sounds like Beth has zero domestic skills. >>

    Beth is absolutely marvelous at ordering take-out for delivery!

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  11. Howdy Vomit!!! :::: waving hands ::::

    I'm glad to see that you and Zeeke have been adding to the numbers of your obsessive rants about me on your blogs. I personally think FIVE each within barely over a week is a fine testament to not just your obsessions, but how utterly boring your room must be these days.

    Thanks, and I eagerly await at LEAST 10 more articles by y'all in the first week of the new year!

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  12. << The Harem of (Zeeke). LMAO >>

    Thanks, but I think it's often the other way around. He seems more like the male lion in a pride, who's basically kept around by the female lions because he's somewhat useful at times but is otherwise ignored.

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  13. Christopher's needed Resolutions for the New Year.
    1. worry about yourself instead of other people.
    2. stop posting pictures of other people. (take a look at your own, honey you are no prize)
    3. since you present yourself as an intelligent man, ACT LIKE IT!
    4. come to realize that the people who suck up to you only do so because they like the fact that you make a douche out of yourself and they want the drama to continue.

    As a final thought, please take a good look at yourself, you say you dont like that drams, but if you are honest with yourself you will see that the drama is what motivates you.

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  14. How come you're not posting this on Ronnie and Billy's blog 1:58 I mean they post pictures of people all the time? Hypocrite much?

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  15. << Christopher's needed Resolutions for the New Year. 2. stop posting pictures of other people. >>

    You seem to have me confused with Ugly, so I'll let him respond... or not.

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  16. Old Roomiepoop will sign her real name.
    Ugly brags alot like the ones he/she bashes and now will blog pictures of his/her marvelous life and of them to show proof.
    Christopher needs to remember exactly how he got the Md room back......

    Happy New Years

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  17. << Christopher needs to remember exactly how he got the Md room back... >> Rose

    Say what?

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  18. OMG... Christoper never trust Rose..have you not learned anything!!!

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  19. Rose obviously hasn't sobered up yet.

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  20. << OMG... Christoper never trust Rose..have you not learned anything!!! >>

    I learned much about trust long ago, and a little more since joining AOL.

    I've long viewed trust, as is said, like peeling the layers on an onion. Trust is mostly earned, with only a minor amount given to anyone.

    As layers of facts, emotions, etc., are exchanged and kept confidential, more trust is earned. And the more that is exchanged, the more important what is exchanged becomes.

    I'm pretty open about basic details such as name, address, age, etc. But the door can rapidly close much beyond that point. I've rarely trusted anyone with everything about me.

    I've followed that pattern with AOLers... initially give out a fair amount of information, then very slowly. The only people here who have gotten much beyond that were ones I knew in person for a fairly long time.

    Sure, there have been people here who have betrayed the levels of trust I gave them, like Beth. And those incidents have been minorly painful. But absolutely no one here knows enough about me to seriously harm me in any meaningful way. And I can't imagine that anyone here ever will.

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  21. K2 is lonely and desperate so he'll talk to Rosiepoop and get burned just like she's done to a million others.

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  22. << K2 is lonely and desperate so he'll talk to Rosiepoop and get burned >> One Zombie or another...

    Sooooooo, on the universally accepted maxim that y'all project onto others what you most despise about yourselves, I gather that: (1) you're so lonely you regularly cry your little eyes out; and (2) Rose dumped your worthless ass because you're a total dunderhead. Sucks to be you, huh?

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  23. Sure sounds to me like Rose thinks Christopher owes her now that she gave him back the room......

    And by the way.........not sure who left the comment that Christopher last responded to but, I would think that anyone who got dumped was getting a stay of execution! And, should consider themselves lucky!

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  24. K2, what on earth does a prestigious attorney who is supposedly highly intelligent have to do with a lying adulteress who fakes pregnancies and can't keep a job?

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  25. Never considered Rose a zombie? oh what a fucking lie that is I've heard you say that and you know darn well she was all about the Zombie rooms until Beth threw her out. Oh, I see you're using her to get revenge on Beth. How immature.

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  26. << Never considered Rose a zombie? oh what a fucking lie that is I've heard you say that... >>

    Oh, shades of Cindy's "total recall" in support of Beth, which turned out, of course, to be 100% wrong. And your rep is that you lie frequently, badly, and without remorse.

    The reality is that Rose has always moved back and forth between the two rooms, and that she and I have mostly gotten along well. If that bugs you, tough shit.

    And I'm sure it just annoys the bejesus out of you that she offered the Over 35 room to me, NOT you. :-)~

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  27. << K2, what on earth does a prestigious attorney who is supposedly highly intelligent have to do with a lying adulteress who fakes pregnancies and can't keep a job? >>

    Why on earth would I believe anything that you say about anyone or anything?

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  28. Isn't it funny K2 spends all this time talking about liars and how bad they are and he's mingling with the biggest one around? (Rose)

    The man needs help.

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  29. k2 and his santorum

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Don't be jealous of the Ugly's.