"Newsflash: Marylands Coolest Collapsed in March!"

(And Began Its Death Throes in Early April)

 

(Written 4/18/12 by ChristopherK2 for the Uglier MDers blog)

 

PRIOR HISTORY

 

As I mentioned in my 2/12/12 article, the Coolest room had declined from its lofty earlier days of being fairly popular to an average of just 7.8 people in January.

 

It held onto that average in February, but with some ominous signs.  It compensated for those with huge increases by SxyMAFIA, Muddy, and Pretty.  But meanwhile, Bitch, NotWithout, and SMPinkrose disappeared. 

 

Worse, a nasty trend developed of several regulars drastically reducing their times in the room.  Dee was about to vanish, and there were major drops by Ham, Hooters, and SexyDoll.  This trend would become a virtual flood in March and April, crippling their room.

 

MARCH--THE MASS EXODUS BEGINS

 

The departures and reductions dropped the overall average number of people in the Coolest room from about 8 in January and February to just *5.8* in March, a huge hit.

 

Several regulars left entirely, including Dee, Eminence, Legs, and Muddy.  But the major negative factor was people sharply reducing their time in the room.  And the biggest news there was Beth, whose attendance plummeted by about 85%.  Others who cut back by half or more included Hooters, Felony, Ponie, Rooster, Sexydoll, and Trikin.  And there were also substantial reductions by Aint, Jmb, Pantry, Perky, and Pretty.

 

APRIL--COOLEST GOES ONTO LIFE SUPPORT

 

If you thought an average of 5.8 people was BAD enough, how about 4.7?  That's what Coolest averaged in the first half of April.  And that average actually worsened as the month has worn on, so it's now even lower.

 

They again entirely lost several regulars, including Hooters, Pretty, and Feefers.  But once again, the major effect was caused by people not showing up nearly as often or for nearly as long. Many of those mentioned above reduced their time even more.  And Bak and Alan did, too. 

 

There are now several who are around so seldom that they may soon disappear entirely, including Aint, Bak, Ham, Ponie, Rooster, Sexydoll, Trikin, and Alan. 

 

OVERALL

 

There are some frightening (if you're a member of their nasty little clique) statistics since January.

 

The number of people passing thru their room has plummeted from 40 in January to just 18 thru mid-April. 

 

Their peak number so far in April is just 12 on April 3rd.  Otherwise, they haven't reached even double-digits in April.  And the majority of the time they have four or fewer people there.

 

They have become far more concentrated in the past few months.  Now, a bit over 70% of their attendance is accounted for by just four people: MAFIA, Zeeke, Vomit, and Wilson.  That essentially means that nearly ALL of the time, it's just them or them plus one or two others. 

 

They've also become primarily an early evening room.  If those hours are dropped, it would pretty much just be MAFIA, Zeeke, Vomit, and Wilson yammering at each other. 

 

THE FUTURE

 

How BAD is attendance in the Coolest room?  Well, for a perspective, it's now averaging about the same number of people as MY room did as recently as mid-October.  And mine was dead by late-December.

 

The end of a chat room can come VERY quickly.

 

Soooooooooo, I think we should officially start a Dead Pool on Coolest!  What's YOUR guess???

 

Let the emails, IMs and phone calls BEGGING people to return to their room begin!  Poor poor Vomit... Poor poor Zeeke...

 

Oh, and it's hard to not notice that--now that they have little to do in their room--they're posting a LOT on Vomit's blog.  It's all, of course, ugly attacks on me, Bonnie, or this blog.  What else have they EVER commented about? 

My name is Monika

Rarely do the Uglies share personal things. The below post prompted me to write this.

My name is Monika, and I AM AN ALCOHOLIC. I am not ashamed. I'm not afraid to admit it.

I've been sober for 24 years. Both Rocco and I come from alcoholic backgrounds. My father died at 41 from a heart attack after continuing to drink after doctor's told him to stop. My mother is 74 and has been through 13 rehabs. Both Rocco's parents died early from drinking. (Rocco doesn't drink for the record).

I'm sharing this because it might just help another suffering alcoholic and that is what keeps me sober.

My journey began in high school in Vancouver. I had a set of friends from childhood and we were tight. One night Tabby asked me to sneak out and go to a party with her since there was a guy there she was nuts about. I did just this. She asked me to drink which I didn't want to do. My father had died of drinking and I was strictly against it. However, I wanted to be a good friend, so I drank a glass of wine. It was hard to swallow at first but after the first gulp settled in I was amazed. I had never felt so awesome. I gulped another. And another. I didn't get sick. (I still think if I had my journey would have taken another path).

After this, every weekend was a party. Tabby, Mena, Linda, and I were at every party there was. We had a blast it always seemed, but somehow I always forgot that half the night was bonding while holding each other's hair while we puked. Or that our grades went from As and Bs to Cs and Ds soon after. Or how all of our allowance was spent on aspirin.

By 16, Mena had moved away and Linda was not allowed to hang around us cause of a bad drunk scene I won't go into. Just Tab and I now, and we went deeper and deeper. What was weekend parties became weekday parties. We were brought home endless times by the RCP to our homes. Tabby soon got pregnant and had to stop. So, I did too. The day after Jonathan was born she was back to partying and soon lost her son to her mother. She got pregnant again in 12th grade and I decided to follow a guy I was in love with to college.
He dumped me the second week of college cause I was a barfly he said. To prove him wrong, I studied like crazy and by November I was all F's and all A's at the local bar. I was sued by a credit card company and every charge on there was from a bar. I was hit by a car when I staggered and fell in the middle of the street. I lost a huge modeling job cause of drinking made me gain weight. I was rushed to the hospital twice when my blood pressure went to dangerous levels. I started doing all kind of drugs to help me get up, go to sleep, feel okay, feel tired. 

 By 22, I had professionals telling me I needed to turn my life around. I didn't listen and it got worse. I was arrested in the states for drinking and driving and fled the court date. I was terminated from a job cause I kept coming in late. I stole money from my Aunt to drink. I tried geographical relocations to solve my problem moving to France, US, and Germany. All I did was drink more and more. I got up in the morning drinking, I went to work drunk, and eventually it all crumbled.

One morning, I awoke at 23 years old in an alley in Toronto, and still cannot remember how I got there. I was full of puke, shivering, lacking of colour, and in severe pain. I had long since been kicked out of my mother's house, flunked out of my first college, job less, about 96 lbs, and had a broken arm and a fractured rib cage. I awoke cuddling a homeless man of about 55 courtesy of a police officer asking why we were doing this on a streetwalk. I had hit bottom.

Right across the road was a hospital. I went over there and told them I needed help. Within two hours I was entered in a rehabilitation center. It was very hard at first. I had to counter demons I didn't want to. I had to acknowledge that perfect me was not perfect. I had to admit my wrongs to others and apologize. The worst part, I had to own my behavior and modify it. The first year was hard. I got married impulsively and divorced. I moved to another country. I moved back. I moved again. I moved back. I moved in with my mother.

After one year of pure hell, I picked up a chip for being sober. I have never been so happy in my life.

After awhile, I accepted me for who I was. Life got better. I went back to college and got my degree.  I bought a home. I ran a marathon. I won first place in a cookoff.  I met Ugly. We moved across the continent. We moved again. I got engaged. I started a business. Then he started a business. I had two kids.

I did all this completely sober. I'm proud that I can look at my kids and say they've never seen their mother drink. I never knew this as a kid my parents were always drunk. I recently sent my almost adult son to a school he's been talking about forever. (He wants a career as a zoologist). This would have never happened sober. He's of come home like I did to help his mother walk to the bathroom to piss like I did.

I'm sharing this because there is help out there. Alcoholism is all over, hits every race, religion, sex, and income level there is.  I had a huge modeling contract that I lost cause of drinking. I lost my family relations, my self-respect, my connection with a higher power, my friends, my family, my education, so much. I'm grateful as hell I only spent 7 years with this too. I've seen much worse in AA.

If you think you have a problem, help is out there. Please visit: http://www.aa.org/lang/en/subpage.cfm?page=12

"I *OWN* Maryland's Coolest!"

(Written 4/12/12 by ChristopherK2 for the Uglier MDers blog)

 

BWAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

 

Oh, the inhumanity... the Poor Poor Zombies reduced to being OWNED by little old me!

 

 

 

Alas, I quickly realized that the place was still wall-to-wall with Zombie Cooties, so I left it behind after a few minutes.

 

But now there's Swami Taint all over their room, so perhaps THEY will have to start a new one soon!

 

Oh, and I'll announce later my "Greatest Victory" celebration party.  Should I invite the Zombies???  << chuckle, chuckle >>

What would the Zombies be doing if the internet went away?

Nancy - Nancy would be known as the Nascar Drunk lady. She'd spend all day at a race track screaming at cars while getting drunk and popping pills. Her evenings would vary, some days she'd be arrested after attacking someone for someone pointing out she pissed in her pants, other days she'd just nod off in her seat, other days she'd be carried out of the park.


Rose - Would been seeing working at the local Walmart, McDonald's, Burger King, gas station, and Bob Evans. After a month at one, she'd get fired, move to the other one, and eventually just move to another town when she used them all up. In the evenings she'd be seen leaving with some fat biker dude and give him a rim job and head in the parking lot for $20 and demand he tells all his friends how hot she is.

Vomit - Prison. After his 9th DWI, they'd ship him away.

Cindy - Would probably fair better than the rest. She'd drop about 20 real quick when she had to start driving to people's houses to stalk them instead of monitoring their online times and do google searches for them.

Billy - Would become the Grand Dragon of the Frederick KKK. He'd lose a couple more teeth two from being punched in the mouth.

Perky - She'd lay on the couch all day watching Lifetime Dramas and eating endless Snicker bars.

MVM - We'd read about MVM blowing up a building cause of some woman who worked there who rejected him and told others his penis size.

Pikle - He'd move in with his son and try to hang out with his son and his son's friends so he felt younger. Someone would film him trying to act 30 years younger than he is and it would go viral.

Alan and Pantry - They'd be on the slabs in no time from drinking themself to death.

Patti - Poor Patti, she'd simply come out of the closet as a lesbian.

Lois - Would spend her evenings writing her boyfriend, and the weekends driving seven hours one way to visit him in prison, and would faithfully put half her paycheck in his canteen and promise to check his prison pen pals site for any chics interested in him.

Beth - Would move to Tulsa, Oklahoma and get a job at a stable, sleep on hay at night, and save her money up to have lots of plastic surgery.

Ugly minus 1

We stayed in a beautiful banda and had days of snorkeling. Went to the Serengeti National forest and saw a gigantic crater, cheetahs, zebras, and even a lion after we settled Frac into his boarding school. He'll greatly enjoy living here since he can shit somewhere other than a toilet, but not sure how he's going to take eating rhinoceros burgers and wearing a robe.

Ugly and Monika are off

Ugly and I are at Dulles Airport, on the way to a week long vacation to Mnemba Island since the Fracs private school is on vacation. We're giving you a break for this week and leaving the blog unmoderated. Behave!

Monika

"Alan, One of the Lesser Zombies"

(Written 3/24/12 by ChristopherK2 for the Uglier MDers blog)

 

I used to occasionally chat in the room with Alan about gardening, but little else because he was a hostile right-winger, a disgusting racist, and just not too bright.  Then he became a Zombie, and that ended things between us.

 

Lately, he's taken to doing insipid drive-bys in my room.  They reminded me of something I first learned with Beth.

 

She once attacked me in the room saying that I needed to "get out (sic) the house... (and) breathe fresh air."  I scratched my head for awhile at a pasty-white, work-at-home, glued-to-her-computer corporate drone telling that to a nicely-tanned avid gardener and outdoor photographer. I thought of, but rejected, hypocrisy.  I eventually concluded that it was just her way of venting at HERself.  She wanted sooooooo badly to be playing golf or softball instead of typing away in the solitude of her office.

 

Similarly, Zeeke used to criticize -- among many examples -- "fat gurlz" and rag people about their teeth.  And it was later, of course, found out that he has a huge gap in his teeth and is almost morbidly obese.

 

As to Alan, his two drive-bys (so far) were:

 

Xalan39o3x: a lonely man living a lonely life...how sad (at about 9:15 p.m. Friday evening)

Xalan39o3x: sad,very sad chris........look where life has taken you (between 2 a.m. and 6:45 a.m., Saturday)

 

Alan... buddy... I'm sorry that being stuck in a long-distance marriage and retired with zippo to do has left you soooo frickin' bored and lonely after being away from wifey-poo for five grueling days that you're reduced to dashing thru chat rooms accusing others of being what YOU so obviously ARE. 

 

Please do everyone a favor, get some hand lotion and whack it off AGAIN.  She'll be by soon (we all hope).  Poor, poor Alan...

 

I'm sure there's a fancy psychological name for what these people routinely do.  Anyone know what it is???  Well, other than being a Zombie, I meant... 

The Might Powers!

Who would win in a scrap?

 VS

"Eating Crow with a Nice Chianti"

(Written 3/16/12 by ChristopherK2 for the Uglier MDers blog)

It was just a mere month ago that Vomit -- in the "State of the Chatroom (sic)" article on his blog -- claimed that his room was "in very good shape," and that "we max out at a little over 20 chatters."  Then he virtually screamed that: 

"NO ONE AND I MEAN NO ONE IN OUR ROOM EVER SITS ALL ALONE <COUGHCOUGHK2COUGHCOUGH>"

He's also regularly derided me since for being all alone in my room.

Well, how quickly things change,as noted in this screen shot:

Vomit somehow managed to lose his room entirely, and there it is at the BOTTOM of the list of rooms well below mine.

(( mega chuckle, mega chuckle ))

Poor poor Vomit...

"Beth Must be Soooooooo Proud!"

Written 3/12/12 by ChristopherK2 for the Uglier MDers blog)

 

A recent article by Zeeke on his blog noted that he had received a rare TOS from AOL for saying in the room:

 

"TheZeekEffect: you need to shut the fuck up and go suck orbitys diseased fuckhole...

TheZeekEffect: orbitys pussy smells like a dead baby seal"

 

 

Add to that Vomit's recent bashing on his blog of ordinary people cursed with horrible deformities as "freaks," and you have a perfect picture of those two in action.

  

How nice...

  

But perhaps, instead of being proud, Beth has recently begun to realize that Zeeke's "Mindfuck Game" was aimed not just at US, but also at THEM. And that Zeeke and Vomit have been just pretending all along to be nice to Beth and the others so someone... anyone... would chat with their desperate, worthless butts.  

 

 

Perhaps she and many of the Zombies also now understand that Zeeke and Vomit weren't just pretending to be viciously ugly for "entertainment," but that is in fact who they ARE.  And maybe that's why Beth and several other Zombies have been absent from their room so much lately (including huge drops by Felony, Dee, Eminence, Muddy, Perky, Ponie, Rooster, and Sexydoll).  How can any "normal" adult ignore or rationalize language like that shown above?  

 

 Maybe now many of their roomies are beginning to accept that both Zeeke and Vomit are REALLY (and not just pretending to be) profound bigots (including homophobia, misogyny, racism, and anti-Semitism), minimally educated, not very bright, heavy drinkers, and violent thugs.  And if they don't have someone around to use language like that against, those two really have little to say of interest because of their limitations OR they instead attack others within the group (see Eminence). 

  

Maybe... just maybe... Beth and the others are starting to reach the same conclusion that so many of us who fled that group knew long ago: Zeeke and Vomit are both just vile, disgusting trash.  I knew several of that type growing up.  We called them Frednecks.  It was a much less politically correct time. 

"Another Zeeke Relative???"

Written 3/7/12 by ChristopherK2 for the Uglier MDers blog)

 

I've previously summarized the nasty criminal history of Zeeke and a bunch of his relatives in "The Zeeke Family Crime Spree" (10-25-11 if you want to go back). It appears that I missed one notable family member. 

 

 

She's detailed in a recent article titled "Arrest Warrant Issued For Mother Of 9-Year-Old Boy Accused Of Shooting 8-Year-Old Girl."  You can find it at: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/03/05/bremerton-school-shooting_n_1322695.html?1330999413&icid=maing-grid10%7Chtmlws-main-bb%7Cdl1%7Csec3_lnk2%26pLid%3D140785.

 

 

Basically her young son took a .45 caliber handgun to school, and it accidentally went off and seriously injured a young girl.  The woman has "a lengthy criminal and drug abuse history."  She had "left firearms unsecured around her house" including a 9mm pistol "sitting on a desk to the right of a computer."  In addition to unlawfully possessing the weapons (re her prior convictions), the police are seeking to hold her culpable for her son's actions.

 

 

If she's not a blood relative of Zeeke's, she certainly follows in his path.  It was just a few years ago (2/13/04) that Zeeke was served with a criminal summons for "probable violation" of the "firearms-access by minor" law.  That's called a "Child Access Prevention and Safe Storage Law," and prohibits storing any LOADED firearm in your house if a minor age 15 or under is likely to gain access to the firearm without permission."  It's a misdemeanor crime punishable by a fine of up to $1,000.

 

 

Zeeke's story in the room (which the Zombies swallowed whole) was that:

 

 

1. His LOADED gun was stored in a closet so his son couldn't reach it ('cause we all KNOW that NO boy has EVER gotten into his Xmas presents "hidden" in a closet).

 

 

2. The NRA provided him a free attorney so they "must have" believed he was innocent. (Odd to say considering the NRA favors that type of law.  That's probably because they got it to include an exception if the child has a "certificate of firearm and hunter safety."  So, the NRA could run all those classes.  Sadly, Zeeke's son had NOT taken such a course, or else the outcome of the criminal charge would've been entirely different.) 

 

 

3. Zeeke claimed he wasn't "found guilty."  (Well, yeah, but he wasn't found NOT guilty either. Neither applied because the prosecutor went with putting it on the so-called "stet docket.")

 

 

The stet ("inactive") docket is a device common to minor crimes for first-time offenders.  It basically suspends the case for a period of time (usually a year) and then the case is closed if there are no further occurrences.  But if a condition is violated, then the case comes roaring off the docket and the prosecutor goes primitive on your ass.

 

 

Being put on the stet docket is a "reportable event" in MD and thus will show up on a "RAP sheet."  After 3 years, the defendant can have the docket entry expunged (which Zeeke has NOT yet done) but the arrest/summons will still show up on a background check (with no disposition). 

 

 

If Zeeke or any of his Zombie friends read this, I hope they will pause to consider what COULD have happened with Zeeke's son and other innocent people, as exemplified by the young girl who was seriously wounded (5 surgeries *so far*) by that idiotic woman's son.

 

Sidebar question: If Zeeke was actually innocent AND had a free attorney, WTF would he agree to moving the case to the stet docket instead of fighting for a "not guilty" verdict???  << chuckle, chuckle >>

"Wildly Popular", Part 2: How It All Went Horribly Wrong

(Written 3/2/12 by ChristopherK2 for the Uglier MDers blog)

 

About the only aspect of the collapse of the Super Secret/Love Fest/Coolest room that is atypical is that is hasn't had a single NEW roomie for many months.  Other than that, the group has followed predictable paths.  Highlights of the numerical data follow.

 

MANY PEOPLE LEFT FOR GOOD

 

I'm sure that the reasons vary from disgust with the other people in the group to "found a life" to "The room's too small now."  But the reality is that--as of the end of January--about 25 people have left their group since last July.  Many were minor players like Cinder, Padur, and Dana ta Danish.  But they've also lost lots of people who were "regulars."  Those include BrunetteLady12, Cindy32863, ImCeeg, Jazzys jam (bolted), JBigred57x, Kenodoubler, MDNatsFanI, ScubaDvr64, and TANGIBLE ROSE.  That's a LOT of people when you have no newbies coming along.

 

LOTS OF REGULARS HAVE CUT WAY BACK

 

Another major factor in the group's decline is that many of their regulars have substantially reduced the amount of time they spend in the room.  The most notable ones in January were aintthebeercold, Badestl3itch73, Baktoogood, Feefers1068, LegsLegsLegs45, Muddy58, NotWithOutAFight, Sexydollizbak, SMPinkrose, Sunniesback2, SxyMAFlAHlTWoman, TrikinCraka1, and Xalan39o3x. 

 

 

Those reductions were only offset somewhat by modest increases by Eminence Frontal (since bolted), I Felony55 I (since reduced), jlwilson2341, Pantrygal J, Perkyonex2, YOUMAKEMEVOMlT6, and Zeeke. 

 

NOTABLE EFFECTS

 

The most noticeable and predictable effect of the above trends has been the increasing concentration of the group into fewer and fewer players accounting for the bulk of the people in the room.  In essence, the group is rapidly reducing itself to its hard core members.

 

 

Nearly *half* of their attendance in January, for example, was comprised of just FIVE people: Zeeke, Vomit, Mafia, Ham, and Sexydoll.  Toss in Wilson, Perky, Felony, Jmb, and Hooters, and you have almost 75% from just 10 people.  There were 30 or so others who stopped in, but only about 10 made more than token appearances here and there.

 

 

Another predictable outcome has been the hollowing out of the room at certain times of the day.  It has become nearly empty, except for 24/7 Campers, before 10 in the morning and then plummets after 9 in the evening.  It used to be pretty lively by 8 in the morning and until past 10 at night.

 

FEBRUARY'S NOT LOOKING GOOD

 

There were several major negatives for their group in February.  The biggest was Beth cutting WAY back after Vomit took over the bolt.  That's a major hit statistically but perhaps a more important one emotionally.  Ponie and Felony seem to have followed suit.  The group also "ate one of its own" by bolting Eminence. Trikin has become a rarity.  And Badestl3itch is apparently gone.

"My Weirdness Detector Blows a Fuse"

(Written 2/28/12 by ChristopherK2)

 

I've long had a Weirdness Detector somewhere deep within my brain.  It explains my love of "Stupid Human Tricks" and "Dumb Criminals" articles and videos.  And every now and then it senses a "change in The Force," so to speak.  Last night The Detector sent me such an alert and today it became obvious why as I read the news on the AOL Welcome window.

 

 

The weirdness began last night while I was sleepily watching the Daytona 500 stock car race.  I normally find packs of cars driving at high speeds in circles quite conducive to sleep.  I was about 90% on the way to dreamland when suddenly a huge fireball exploded on the tv screen.  I *love* all things explosion-related, so I almost jumped out of my recliner in quickly ramming up to full attention.

 

 

And there it was in all its glory... a lone stock car far behind the pack blasting along at nearly 200 mph had suddenly hung a dead right to pick the only spot on the track able to cause a major catastrophe... a "jet dryer" (a very large truck equipped with a hang-on jet engine to blow dry the track) trudging along at about 1 mph and loaded with 200 gallons of volatile jet kerosene!  KABOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!! 

 

 

It was immediately obvious that no one had been seriously injured, so I was free to enjoy the fireball stuff.  And a huge fireball on a racetrack is clearly weird enough to set off my inner detector. 

 

 

But my brain was also sending a signal that there was something else also happening.  And that wouldn't become clear until I started reading AOL's Welcome window news this morning.  It seems that we're now officially going thru a period of Universal Weirdness, which have occurred randomly but repeatedly over the years.

 

 

My Weirdness Detector began screeching when I saw the headline: "Angelina Jolie's Leg has over 15,000 Fans (on Twitter)."  Now THAT is weird!  I thought everyone KNEW that even though she's one of the most beautiful women on the planet, she has SKINNY legs. But apparently her appearance at the Oscars has led to many people finally figuring that out.

 

 

I quickly noticed many other headlines about seriously Weird Stuff: "Man Gets 3 Years for Punching Bunnies;" (WHAT?) "Alien Caught on Google Street View;" (didn't I just write about Street View the other day???) "Plane Drops Poop On New York Couple;" (ruined THAT picnic) "Waiter Spills Beer on German Chancellor;" (the 99% getting even with the 1%?) and "Hank the Cat Runs for Office in Virginia;" (a cat??? no dogs available???).

 

 

Laughing so hard by now that I could barely control the mouse, I moved on to TMZ.  And I wasn't disappointed.  It started off with "Angelina Jolie's Legs the Morning After."  Geesh, the woman has SKINNY, ugly legs, people... deal with it!  My Weirdness Detector's meter then suddenly shot up at "Rodney King-No Jail After 2nd DUI Arrest."  Yes, THAT Rodney King was back in the news, his pic staring up at me from the pages of TMZ.  How many years has it been???  Very strange...

 

 

By this point, I was almost afraid to press on to the CNN site for fear of a heart-attack-by-excessive-laughter story of truly epic proportions.  But there it was: "Doggie DNA used in Poop Crackdown"!!!  I kid you not, my loyal fans, an apartment complex in Ohio is cracking down on doggie dooty offenders by sending samples off to a lab for DNA matching to the residents' dogs and charging folks $200 a poop... er... pop.

 

 

But even a delightful Dog Dooty story didn't send me into paralyzing spasms of laughter.  Why not???  Well, I think it's because my Weirdness Detector was also letting me know that there's a LOT more weirdness to come over the next few days.  So, I'll have to restrain myself mightily.  I wouldn't want my obit to read, "He died from reading a Dumbest Criminals e-mail."

"Top 10 Reasons Newbies are Bolted from the Coolest Room"

Written 2/23/12 by ChristopherK2 for the Uglier MDers blog)

10. Admit that you're black, gay, Jewish, or plan to vote for Obama.

 9. Show up at a Coolest social function and bend your knees while you walk.

 8. Say that you haven't been drunk since you were a "stupid teenager" and then "grew up."

 7. Note that you have a college degree.

 6. Have a pic on your profile that shows that you're physically attractive, dress well, and have nice teeth.

 5. Ask, "If this is the 'Coolest' room, why isn't anyone saying anything?"

 4. Don't kiss Zeeke's ass at least 15 times a day.

 3. Use a word of more than three syllables.

 2. Post a link to your favorite mushy, romantic poem.

And the Number 1 Reason Newbies are Bolted from the Coolest Room is...

1. Ask if it's okay if you log the room.

AOLEXIA

Is a growing problem in our society. Millions of people seem to have it. I’m not sure why there has been so little attention given to this problem, but it has been around for a very long time.

This disease is extremely dangerous and highly contagious. Scientists are beginning to believe that it may be the result of a problem within the brain of the patient. With aolexia the patient’s brain appears to misinterpret everything that they hear.

 If you or someone you love suffers from this disease it is imperative that you seek treatment. Current treatment involves:

1. Learning to get the wax out of your ears and listen to the real message that is being spoken. 
2.  Getting over your own self importance. 
3.  Learning to correctly interpret information without filtering it through one’s ego.
4.  Overcoming your own pure stupididty. 
5.  Logging off AOL and getting a life.

"Or Maybe"

(Written 2/19/12 by ChristopherK2 for the Uglier MDers blog)

(Picture below was submitted as a recent "Zeeke" sighting)

Zeeke recently opined on Vomit's blog that the claim that "good people (were) ran off" from the chat rooms "has been thrown around... but there's no real evidence that suggests the statement is true.  Like all social media AOL chat ran its course and is dying a slow painful death..."

Facebook is dying???  Alrighty... Zeeke the Astute Business Analyst speaks... (( chuckle, chuckle ))

As to evidence that Zeeke conveniently ignores, look no further than Perky's earlier statement that people have left Zeeke's room because of its "hate and discontent."  I've collected a few statements over the years, the most straightforward of which is, "I just finally found the overabundance of white trash to be too tiresome for words."

Zeeke's obviously going the rationalization route, which is rather surprising.  He's often stated that his main goal is driving away as many people who he dislikes as possible thru his "mind-fuck" game.  So the decimation of the group is more likely because of his tactics, such as:

1. Regularly bolting "50+" nice regulars from the room whenever he had the chance.

2. Uglifying the room for several hours a day with nasty fights with Bonnie for many years.

3. Attacking anyone he didn't like by the use of nicknames like "Cocksuckingfagjewbitch."

4. Uniting with other Zombies... especially Beth... in gang attacking people they didn't like.

5. Routinely threatening physical violence against people.

6. Making fun of others for perceived flaws, nearly all of which they themselves have in abundance.

I suspect that Zeeke now realizes he went way too far for too long, and that the few people remaining in his ugly little clique aren't enough for a viable room.  So, as it dies, he's trying to set up a story to feed his masses, and absolve himself of any guilt that he feels.

Whatever floats his boat, for public consumption... But deep in their hearts, I'm sure all of the Zombies know that it is *they* who have killed this group.

We at Ugly Marylanders received this picture - is really Billy's ne
w girlfriend?

"Wildly Popular" = 7.8?

(Written 2/12/12 by Prancer The Swami for the Uglier MDers blog)

The Swami often has difficulty understanding the full meaning of some of Zeeke's rants.  There's probably a language barrier there because, well, Zeeke's so dumb.

Take, for example, Zeeke's rants about his room awhile back.  He called it "wildly popular" and "one of the most popular chatrooms."

The Swami tends to take proclamations way too literally.  If a room is "one of the most popular," The Swami figures it should be in at least the Top 10, or maybe the Top 25 on a slow day.  But as the Swami writes this, Zeeke's room is #120.  120???  Yep, it's right behind "Friendly Doms n Subs."  Granted the widespread appeal of doms and subs, but #120 is "one of the most popular" rooms?

The Swami also recognizes that "wildly popular" is a much vaguer phrase, so allowances must be made for some hyperbole.  But under what loose standards can an average of 7.8 SNs in a room be considered "wildly popular"?  That's what Zeeke's room averaged from early morning to late evening in January.

So, a decline from "wildly popular" to just 7.8 in a few months can't be a good sign. And I'm sure the Zombies will gleefully point out that The Swami's room is virtually in the toilet.  But they should be mindful that the Over 35 room averaged almost that same 7.8 as recently as July. 

It's certainly a very slippery slope once a chat room drops below critical mass.

P.S. As The Swami was about to send this to Ugly, Vomit posted that his room is "in very good shape" and "we max out at a little over 20 chatters."  The Swami has always admired Vomit's ability to ignore reality and just make up stuff.  His room hasn't been within even barking distance of 20 since mid-December, and hasn't regularly exceeded 20 since August.  The Swami wants some of whatever Vomit was smoking.

I will always love you

Monika

This woman has gone in sub 20 degree Russian climate with me.

Our wedding song was by Whitney. I am saddened.

Will you be my valentine?

I proposed to Monika on Valentine's Day. She thought we were just going out to a fancy restaurant so she could show off her latest Gucci bag, but I had other plans. We went to this little fancy French enclave up in Montreal and she ordered some expensive wine made from gammy grapes. Gammy Noir I believe it was.

She was stunning that night. She had on some very white hotpants showing off that very nice derierre and a beautiful apple color cardigan sweater. I was quite afraid to ask her. We'd been friends for years. Often I'd find myself her shoulder to cry on after a heartbreak. I never confessed my feelings for her, was terrified.

I still don't know what possessed me to get the courage up to propose. Maybe it was that Gammy Noir, we sure polished off two bottles that night, and Monika (don't slap me hon) ruined her pantsuit with a spill. All I know is Monika was the most beautiful woman I had ever laid eyes on. Inside and out. And I wanted to take care of her.

I never drink, but that night I did to get the courage up. Finally I just said to her, Monika I love you and it's time someone took care of you and treated you right. She looked at me completely stunned. I repeated it. She gulped down an entire glass of wine. So did I. She was afraid to talk. I was afraid to move. We drank another glass of wine, then both excused ourselves to the bathroom. She came back and said Rocco, yes, you are meant for me. You're the only one who has been here for me thick and thin and I know what you're going to ask and I accept. Then we left the restaurant and walked down the road and kissed. The first time in years of knowing her we had done so.

As I'm recalling all of this I'm thinking just how unfortunate so many here haven't found that type of love in their life. The sexual lives of the zombies are quite maddening and stagnant. The love is just not there like an untouchable caste member. It is mad sad.

"Easily Amused..."

(Written 2/7/12 by ChristopherK2 for the Uglier Marylanders blog)

(Disclaimer: I pretty much hate cats.)  Years ago, my mom had a cat named Pretty Boy.  (Yep, a fat, outdoorish tomcat named Pretty Boy.)  Mom asked me take a pic of it one day as it lounged on the radiator cap and gazed out at the school playground about 50' away.

 

It was a good pic opportunity, but Mom read far more into than I did.  She went on and on about how he was watching over the neighborhood kids, admiring the beauty of the surroundings, blah blah blah.  I said, "Mom, he's a cat.  A cat has an IQ of 3.  It's easily amused." 

So it apparently is with Zeeke and Vomit as evidenced by this statement today on Zeeke's blog about their mutual fascination with pasting my head onto pics (about 50 times so far), as follows:

"Ronnie and I have been laughing about this for months.. Stick Faggy's head on any picture and it becomes instantly funny."

For months???  Wow... yep, *very* easily amused.  But I'm sure they both have IQs WAY higher than 3.  Any guesses???  I'm thinking 85-90...

Vomit trying to get to the beer store

One of Ronnie Young's friends have sold him out.

"The Top 10 Reasons Neil Keeps Beth Around"

(Written 1/29/12 by ChristopherK2 for the Uglier MDers blog)

10. Neil thinks she's great "arm candy" for all of those stupid work-related social functions.

 9. Neil's life hasn't been the same since they installed that Stripper Pole in the bedroom.    

 8. Beth can explain those annoying Bevis & Butthead references.

 7. Neil doesn't have to sweat providing her a social life on weekends.

 6. She loves doing that one thing that ALL guys love having done to them... scratching his back.  (Get your mind out of the gutter!)

 5. Beth has a doctorate in ordering home delivery of meals. 

 4. She lets him win at Strip Monopoly. 

 

 3. Beth knows all of the good porn sites.

 2. Her "Impress the In-Laws" persona is very effective.

And the Number 1 Reason Neil Keeps Beth Around is...

 1. She had him at, "I love to dress up as a Slutty French Maid!"

"Poor, Poor Vomit"

"Poor, Poor Vomit"

(Written 1/25/12 by ChristopherK2 for the Uglier MDers blog)

 

Poor, Poor Vomit has been having a rough time lately.  He's had to hit the Refresh icon 100 times a day to make his blog appear to be popular.  But the only people who even bother to comment on his inane babble there are TX Deputy (reposting his ugly crap from this blog) and Zeeke (in repayment for Vomit being the *only* one to comment on Zeeke's blog).

 

Then all of a sudden Vomit *thought* he lucked out a couple of weeks ago when he got the bolt for Maryland's Dumbest room.  He was in his glory for, oh, about 45 minutes.  Then it, too, started to slowly unravel.  Beth threw a hissy fit when Vomit wouldn't give her the bolt back, and has since been seen there only a few times a day.  Several of the other Lady Zombies saw little or no reason to stay around without Beth, so Pantry, PonieTail, and Bitch have also cut way back.  With few women in sight, hangers-on like Aint, Trikin, Bak, and Eminence have been slowly melting away.

 

So, despite the initial begging-induced spurt in attendance, their room has deteriorated under Vomit's stewardship to an average of barely *8* SNs.  And with smaller size comes higher volatility.  My room, for example, runs from one to the high single digits.  The Stupidest Room has reached as high as 15 under Vomit.  But today it also reached a new nadir of just TWO: Vomit and Zeeke.  TWO at almost 10 a.m. on a weekday???  Seriously? 

 

And as you can see in the screen shot below, karma dictated that my room was also going thru a major surge with *7* nice people chatting pleasantly.

And the future isn't promising.  I mean, who wants to stay in a room with just Zeeke and Vomit???  Darn few apparently.  As I write this almost five hours later, only Pantry has been brave enough to join them.

 

Karma's a Bitch.  Poor, Poor Vomit... 

Hot guys and rim jobs

I must admit. I am in complete shock. Did Rose really make an asinine claim that she can find nice looking men with money. Really Rose? The proof isn't in the pudding cupcake.

Is this mutt face wearing one of Rose's shirts? 

 Hunky and just where is that hand at and why?   

Some real lookers with money Cupcake.

(Send me any pictures of those below to add to Christopher)

Mutt who moved in with his Mommy in Mass and ripped women off to survive.

EP is a real looker with a street address in one of the lowest income areas around.

Thomas M lives in a poverty stricken house in Dundalk and sources say he has no teeth. 

Rose lived with Jeff K at his Mommy's house and sources say he looks like an Ape Man.

John took her to a trailer park and they couldn't even afford to fix broken windows and sources say he looks like an alien on crack.

Maybe it's her rim jobs that get her these "lookers" and let her live at their Mommy's house. And what the hell is 2 grade grammer? Well not to be surprised from rock brain.

 But what do you expect when you look like a dead ringer for an ugly serial killer. This is a recent picture of Rose folks! Nope she's still not hot. (Funny how the only person who ever says Rose is hot is Rose herself) 

Look at that forehead crease, that blotchy skin, those deep bags under her eyes so much they are almost covering her eyes, that thin hair the crows feet. And those yellow fucked up teeth.

"God's on Facebook? Uh oh..."

(Written 1/17/12 by PrancerTheSwami for the Uglier MDers blog)

At first The Swami could see no good coming from The Almighty being on Facebook.  The Swami is paranoid enough without Him watching even there.

So The Swami proceeded very carefully to investigate the extent of God's presence on Facebook.  Maybe it's just one of His afterthoughts and He doesn't follow it closely?

The main "public figure" profile for God isn't all that impressive.  :::: pausing for possible lightning bolt strike ::::  Well... ooooooookay.  It only has a bit over one million "likes," so maybe He quickly moved onto other things after constructing it? 

But it does answer one question I've always had about God... does he have a sense of humor?  Yeah, yeah... He created dachshunds.  But verbally, I've always wondered.  On the profile for His Location, it says "Everywhere" and for His Email Address, it says "Just Pray!"  Good stuff that...

His second "local business" profile is a bit strange.  As "likes," He includes Starbucks, Kobe Bryant, and Lady Gaga.  Well, ooooooookay.  A bit pricey/gag/tacky in MY book.

God also has an "app" on Facebook: "God Wants You to Know."  It promises daily messages to bring you "love... strength... (and) happiness."  Well, blah blah blah.  The Swami had sensed that app was bogus anyway because it asked for "permission" to access my Facebook information.  Wouldn't He already know that stuff?

So, The Swami decided to submit several questions directly to The Almighty on His "public figure" profile.  The results were interesting:

The Swami: Your profile only has 1,164,643 "likes" and only 552 people "like" your main pic.  Are you disappointed with those results?

God:  I'm omnipotent, but this Facebook software is the pits.  I'm having a huge problem with 'spreading the word' so far.  I've filed some complaints, but they're very slow to respond.

The Swami: Maybe you could send them a burning bush or two?

God:  <<snort>>  I've been thinking more like a nice plague.

The Swami: Plagues seem a bit harsh.  The Swami could give you some ideas for good curses, like fleas.

God: Kewl beans, hit me up by email.  Thanks...

The Swami: You're on Twitter at 'OurHolyLord.'  Whose idea was that name?

God: Don't get me started on 'consultants' <spit>. The best ones are tied up with political candidates until late this year.  So I'll change it after that.

The Swami: We've discussed some people on AOL before.  What do you think of Vomit's use--just before Christmas--of his face on a pic of Jesus on the cross, claiming Ronnie's your "only begotten son"?

God: I will be 'in touch' with him 'soon'.

The Swami: I noticed that Jesus came out on his profile foursquare against "threatening individuals" here.  Does that also...

God: Apply to AOL?  Yes, and I'm very aware of the many ugly threats of violence by that Zeeke individual.  I am NOT pleased with his conduct in general.  Let me just say this... the next time he goes out to get 'piss drunk,' you do NOT want to be sitting near him.

The Swami: Well, thanks for your time, but I need to...

God: I've been meaning to discuss some of YOUR recent blog articles with you.  Here, sit beside me...

The Swami: Uh oh...

"The Love Fest Room DIES. Poor, poor Zeeke..."

Written 1/11/12 by ChristopherK2 for the Uglier MDers blog)

 

Owing to gross computer negligence along with general lack of interest, the Zombies lost the Festering Love room early this morning.  Following are some print screen shots documenting its demise.

 

Poor, poor Zeeke...

Poor, poor Vomit...

Poor, poor Beth...

 

A Bot Takes Over Love Fest...

 

 

Vomit Alone with the Bot...

 

 

 

The Bot all alone after Wilson and Vomit leave...

 

 

 

Vomit Deserts the Sinking Ship... 

 

 

Mike Visits Love Fest!

 

Ouch Rose!

No wonder Rosie hates life so much.