"Zeeke's Top 10 Homoerotic Fantasies About Me"

(Written 10/17/12 by ChristopherK2 for the Uglier MDers blog)

Zeeke and the Zombies seem to believe that the absolute *worst* thing they can say about another guy is that he's gay. That's generally true of most homophobes, and most bigots think the same of whatever their focus is. Personally, I think the worst thing you can say about another guy is that he's a stupid, uneducated, obese bigot who spends his weekends "getting piss drunk" and "tearing up pussy."
 

But Ugly's recent article ("Come-a Come-a out of the Closet-O!") raises a more troubling possibility about Zeeke: that he has constant homoerotic fantasies about ME. Ugly noted that Zeeke "look(s) up gay pictures all day long and paste(s) heads on them. Think about it. Billy's actually searching for these pictures, and he's searching gay sites for them."
 

So, that naturally leads to the disturbing question, what are Zeeke's main sexual fantasies about ME? Well, here they are, based on HIS recent articles about ME:
 

10. I have a vagina. (WTF is that all about???)

9. He wants to "jerk off" while spanking me.

8. Zeeke wants to do a porn film, dressed as Hulk Hogan, with me.

7. He dreams regularly about my "butt nuggets."

6. He has dom fantasies about me dressed in leather, high heel boots, etc., with a whip.

5. He wants to "deposit" his sperm into my mouth at an ATM-like fixture in his bedroom.

4. Zeeke wants to dress me up as an old farmer woman, then do something disgusting with a pitchfork.

3. He loves the idea of me being bound up like a crazy person.

2. He fantasizes about me in a long, ugly wig, with a tampon stuffed up my butt.

And Zeeke's Number 1 Homoerotic Fantasy About ME is...

1. He has a case of "turd polish" he wants to use on me in--I'm sure--very creative ways.

"Vomit Stupidly Jumps on Zeeke's Homophobe Bandwagon"

 (Written 10/13/12 by ChristopherK2 for the Uglier MDers blog)

 

Vomit normally limits his banal little blog to Carp Burger Recipes and tales of how he spends his Vomit Dollars from collecting aluminum cans. But today Vomit decided to jump on Zeeke's bandwagon of ugly, homophobic rants about me. (This, shortly after bragging about how lonnnnnnnnnnnnnnng it had been since he had last featured me.)

 

I rarely respond to any of that nonsense because it's so laughable to anyone who knows me even a little bit, and I prefer to let them repeatedly show what vile and disgusting bigots they surely are.

 

Vomit's article looks exactly like most of Zeeke's near-daily obsessions over me, so I'm guessing Zeeke *ordered* Vomit to run one just to make it look like Zeeke isn't the ONLY Zombie totally obsessed over me. Yeah, I know it makes little sense, but that's about all we can expect from them.

 

Anywho... Vomit made one HUGE mistake with his version. He used a different pic of me than Zeeke normally does. Why would that matter? Let me show y'all. This is the part of Vomit's post with my pic:

 

 

 

 

 

I of course have the original of that entire pic. So, in an article in which Vomit goes on an ugly homophobic rant about my supposed gayness, guess who else is in the pic with me? Well, here you go...

 

 

 It's my fiancée, the Lovely Pamela!

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH, what Idiots they are...

And, I haven't yet figured out why Vomit reversed my pic. After all, I part my hair on the left side not the right.

Freudian Slip - you be the judge

I find this pretty telling and untrue. Let me hear your thoughts.

 

How is it smart to inject heroin in your body? How is is smart to sleep with endless men for money?

How is prostitution work when it is illegal?

Just how is a drug-addicted person going to pay for shelter/food/medical care when all their money is going in their arms?

 

I had a little hope for MVM till now. He truly is not bright.

 

 

"Why Zombies Hide Behind Anonymous Profiles"

(Written 10/10/12 by ChristopherK2 for the Uglier MDers blog)

Following is a recent exchange in the comments for one of the articles:

 

<< If I were Chris I'd get a restraining order. It's obvious he wants your body >>

<< Anonymous Zombie September 30, 2012 6:57 PM

are you kidding me? what body? have you looked at his pic? lololololol"

 

That's a fine example of why Zombies are cowards who hide behind Anonymous profiles. They figure we can't respond by pointing out that they, of course, have whatever fault they accuse us of having. They're simply too embarrassed to reveal themselves. Posting anonymously seemingly lets them cover up their flaws.

 

In that example, the Zombie would have the reader believe that HE is built like some sort of Adonis. If the truth be known, responses would probably go like this:

 

"Bak--You're one of the few humans who actually has a ROUND shape. Why are YOU giving anyone gas about their body?"

 

"Zeeke/Vomit--You're 5 pounds shy of being officially 'morbidly obese.' Why are YOU..."

 

"Pikle--You're a munchkin with a late-1960's hippie hairdo. Why are YOU..."

 

So, my basic approach is to respond assuming whichever Zombie I wish wrote the stupidity.

Eat Crow

Isn't it time Ronnie stops listening to Billy? As someone posted here recently, he's taking complete advantage of his lower than normal intelligence. Billy knows no one in the world buys his conspiracy theories and lies, except for Ronnie. Ronnie, with a combination of inebriation and low IQ, is a socially isolated pariah like Billy.




If Ronnie sobered up and surrounded himself with decent people, maybe he could break the chain of constantly being made to look ridiculous. I mean Zeeke tells him to delete a blog and he does it and falls for Billy's chants of see they will think you really were termed and are obsessed with you (meanwhile what Billy is doing is trying to actually get people to come to the blog.)



Poor Ronnie. Maybe we can encourage him to start a carpburger restaurant? Who wants to take Ronnie under their wing to get him away from being taken advantage of?

"The Top 10 Reasons Vomit's Blog was Nuked"

(Written 10/4/12 by ChristopherK2 for the Uglier MDers blog)

 

10. Blogger decided that it was "Maryland's Most Boring Blog."

 

9. Vomit's last article disclosed personal data of Blogger's president. Dumb, dumber, dumbest...

8. Zeeke *ordered* Vomit to nuke it because it was FAR more popular than Zeeke's blog.

 

7. Vomit decided to totally reform his vile, disgusting life and is now studying to be a Tibetan Buddhist monk. His new blog is titled, "For the Sake of All Beings."

6. He posted a video of what he *really* does with those dead fish.

 

5. Vomit's wife said, "Delete that stupid, @#?&$ blog, or you ain't getting no more nooky."

4. In a drunken stupor, Vomit thought Blogger's tool to "delete blog" meant he could delete Ugly's blog.

 

3. In a fit of political correctness, Blogger yielded to PETA's frequent complaint that Vomit repeatedly posted pics of "dead and obviously abused and tortured" fish.

 

2. Vomit ran out of ideas for vile and disgusting rants. Unlike Zeeke, he couldn't bring himself to endlessly repeat the same old crap.

And the Number 1 Reason Vomit's Blog was Nuked is...

1. Vomit accepted MY offer to delete his blog in exchange for a case of Olde Frothingslosh ("the pale stale ale with the foam on the bottom").

"The Top 10 Reasons Zeeke Has Been Fired from a Job"

(Written 9/30/12 by ChristopherK2 for the Uglier MDers Blog)

10. Zeeke brought Beth's large dogs to work and let them run free. One of them took a huge dump on the president's new, expensive, leather desk chair.

9. Zeeke accidentally sent one of his homophobic rants to the Director of Human Resources, who happened to be gay.

8. Zeeke generally started getting "piss drunk" for the weekend on Friday afternoons at 2 p.m.

7. His incessant whining about my articles was driving everyone nuts.

6. One company found out that Zeeke's claim on his résumé that he had a PhD in English Literature was << gasp >> a lie.

5. The 27 long distance calls to Vomit every day to coordinate their responses to Ugly's blog was just stunningly stupid.

4. One company's health insurer threatened to cancel the policy if Zeeke put on five more pounds, thereby becoming morbidly obese.

3. He spent most of the day scouring the internet for pics he could copy/paste my face on to.

2. Mensa sent copies of the Maryland Judiciary Case Search site results for Zeeke's entire family to one company, along with a link to his blog.

And the Number 1 Reason Zeeke Was Fired from a Job was...

1. He got caught "tearing up pussy" on the top of his desk with the receptionist.