Fashion Consultation #1

Let's start with "I'm so hot" Rose. You are by far the worst dresser of all the zombie women. Let's open your very disturbing wardrobe door.

I'm more than sure you were in a cheap, dumpy dive here, so the greasy hair look is fine for that along with the cheap Walmart tank (Hey, maybe she was trying to match Billy). Might try getting your hair died professionally so it doesn't leave scalp stains and make you look like you're in the throes of teenage vampirerism.
This look went out in the 90s toots. No one wears khaki shorts like this, and certainly they shouldn't be worn by a knock-kneed type. No one should wear a shirt the same color as their facial tone, you give a ghostly glow here hon. And you have a little bit of a muffin top that can be seen here, definitely not figure flattering, and my stars lady, get a cuchina for that camel toe.
Haven't seen these shirts since the 90s.
All I want to know is what Senior Citizen you stole this from. That shirt is so elderly 90s.Middle-aged women shouldn't be trying to wear their daughter's clothes. And those split end, sheez. How about a little makeup so you don't like a meth-addicted 55-year-old?
And how do we know Rose wears her daughter's clothing? Proof is in the pudding.Again, middle-aged women should accept their glory days are gone and thus humiliate themself less. Was this a calendar shot for some fisherman's club? They do make support bras in bathing suits for sag cupcake. And wait, I thought you had skinny thighs or is that excess labia?You don't have to announce you're a grandmother so boldy. Keyboard: Go to Victoria Secrets and get fitted for a proper bra. The senior wing at the state pen look. Bland, Bland, Bland.
More Grandma attire along with a very obvious, and very bad, self-haircut. I'm sure if you offer to blow someone at the Hair Cuttery you can get a decent chop job. Yikes.More proof Rose doesn't have a clue how to dress or buy clothes that fit properly. Wearing her daughter's shirt and what looks like some homeless woman's pants.What Rose SHOULD wear:

Get some jodhpur pants and since I'm sure that's not affordable for you, corduroys will do. They do wonders by adding bulk to bodies with no asses, curves, and will make your legs look longer thus hiding those scary chicken ankles. Go for the higher rise ones since you're middle-aged with a muffin top and you don't have one womanly hip curve to your boyish figure.
As for tops, stay away from white, you're already pale, as well as stripes and light colors. You want to stick with charcoals to offset your paleness, splatter patterns and studs (don't go overboard, you are nearly 50) in knot-fronts (this will help with the sag), cowl necks, drapey tunics, waist sashes, etc. If you insist on going retro, make sure it's fashion retro and that doesn't mean wearing a shirt that's 20 years old. Add a sweater jacket if it's cold out.
Round it out with some 2-3 inch stilleto booties or some fashionable suede boots.


Oh, and jewelry hon. You need some to offset that pale look. Hoop earrings would take a lot of weight off that paleness, as well as some necklaces to drawl away from it. Make sure the jewelry does the thing called matching though, since that doesn't seem to be one of your finer skills.

Hairstyle - you need a whole new look. I'd recommend you go with a flared shoulder length bob with a deep side part, as it will add more volume to your hair. Perhaps a body wave to get away from that greasy flat look. Consult with a hair specialist about your color, the carrot has you looking like the albino idiot of the year. Darker with a darker color with highlights in it might be better.

Makeup I'd highly recommend spending some time with a makeup artist. Paleness is hard enough in itself to mask, but you have very oily and pimply skin and that requires special makeups that I'm not familiar with because I simply don't have that issue!

Just think Rose - some color on that face, some fashionable clothes, and you might become less of an eyesore.

Sincerely, Monika

Next up: Cindy