Has it been 5-1/2 years already?

http://www.itemlive.com/news/angry-portrait-of-gunman-emerges/article_7577ccf8-7745-5d3d-a430-9767816f865f.html

What kind of woman would date this man? Oh that's right Rose Hirst. (Heather W is so much prettier than Rose.) 

Least we know where Rose got the name of her fake boyfriend Jim, "he took a job at Big Jim's Towing"

Design ideas?

Someone has been letting the dogs out and I'm fed up. Frick and I have decided to ante this up. We have saved all reminders of this and are trying to come up with a nice design to put back in their yard.

I'm thinking of spelling out "Thanks but no thanks" with it. Monika wants to write "It wasn't gone with the wind." Frick wants to write, "Who let the dogs out? woof, woof, woof, woof
 YOU LET THE DOGS OUT woof, woof, woof, woof
Who's partying it now? woof, woof, woof"

Just nasty

Bet these folks don't wash their hands after shitting either. 

The Biggest Mermaid

Someone stop feeding Ariel! She's as big as Cindy. 

Happy Easter

From the Uglies

Ugly's been busy

Do let him know what's new in your world.

Cast your vote for your favorite Zombie exposure of 2012

1. MVM being busted for knocking up a hooker.
2. Ronnie hiding his blog to make it look deleted then reinstating it the second someone notices and writing a preschool "Gotcha" post.
3. Zeeke's non-stop homosexual blog posts about Christopher, which backfired on him - now everyone thinks he's the gay one.
4. Billy's high school picture revealed.
5. Rose posting you can only get herpes during an outbreak only to be proven otherwise by a CDC website link.
6. Christopher revealing that Billy was two grades behind by the time he started high school.
7. Rose posting she gets hot men with money only for it to be revealed Jeff, Eugene, Thomas, John, and Rob are no lookers, and took her home to their trailers and mom's basements in low-income areas.
8. Beth dumping Zeeke. 
9. Billy posting about the horrendous nature of the hateful shitrag blogging children - meanwhile - he blogs Bonnie's son, and has a child's picture as his profile picture.
10. Rose declaring she has a medical field job but her name is mysteriously absent from any required medical licensee databases in Maryland or Delaware.
11. Fat Cindy being tossed out of the Zeeke clan.
12. Ugly running over Bengal.
13. Rose declaring in one breath she doesn't have herpes, but in the other breath posting about how she had unprotected sex with a man infected with herpes.
14. Zombies declaring Ugly didn't go on vacation.  
15. Rose spell checking someone else.
16. Pantry and her million dollar lawsuit.
17. Zeeke declaring with 100 percent certainty that Mensa runs this blog only to not be able to produce any evidence of it.
18. Zeeke's nephew's myspace page revealed, where Phillip discusses his prison time, drug addiction, and pictures revealing quite the hillbilly.
19. Rose posting anonymously and in the 3rd person about how hot she is but not one person agreeing.
20. Ronnie and Billy posting pictures of the times they went out of their house. Which equalled to about 8 blog posts total, one which was proven to be a fraud.
21. Ronnie and Billy's declarations of Christopher being homosexual, followed by mentions of his fiancee within the same paragraph.

Zeeke's many lies exposed. These are my favorites, feel free to add yours.
1. He declared Phillip Underwood a distant relative only for it to be revealed he's Phillip's Uncle.
2. He blogged about his awesome fishing trip only for Bonnie to provide the URL to where he took the pictures off of.
3. Billy's many posts about how he never ever reads this shitrag only for his IP address to be shown as the most frequent visitor to the site.
4. Billy's assertions that this blog is dead, meanwhile Ronnie and his has almost no comments on it, and this one has hundreds of comments per article.
5. ""NO ONE AND I MEAN NO ONE IN OUR ROOM EVER SITS ALL ALONE ." Only for K2 to prove that Vomit does exactly that.
 

"Okay, So I Was WRONG About Farts!"

*The Uglies apologize that it took two weeks to post this. This is our busy time at work right now.

 

(Written 11/10/12 by ChristopherK2 for the Uglier MDers blog)
 

Yeah, I occasionally give friends sound advice about virtually EVERYTHING. And I *thought* I was a world-class expert about Farts. But apparently NOT.
 

The particular issue was Backed Up Farts. As some of you know, I sometimes sleep in my recliner chair owing to a 40+ year battle with a hiatal hernia. If I feel even slightly too full as bedtime approaches, sitting in the chair is far less likely to cause further damage than laying in a bed.
 

And I had noticed over the years that sleeping in the chair inevitably led to a rather large amount of farting shortly after waking. My working theory was that sitting tended to just kinda stop up things, as contrasted with what I *assumed* was the normal slow "passing of gas" throughout a night spent in a bed. I recently so advised a friend who's going thru a temporary forced sitting rather than laying situation to be aware of the dreaded Backed Up Farts.

 

I thought only later that I really should check the Science of Farts before passing on my advice based purely on personal experience. So, I did my usual super-scientific research and found that < gasp> I was totally WRONG. I was mortified (but not enough to update my friend... well, unless she happens to read this). I glommed onto a site via Google that seemed purely scientific and on point ("Facts on Farts" at www.heptune.com/farts.html).
 

It is the end-all-and-be-all of All Things Farts. It has fascinating sections on "What is fart gas made of?," "Why are stinky farts generally warmer and quieter than regular farts?," and my fav, "Where do farts go when you hold them in?"

 

But I digress... The answer to my question was in the section on "Do ALL people fart in their sleep?" The complete answer is, "All people (don't) fart in their sleep. I think mainly those who refuse to fart when they're awake do so as they're dozing off. For other [normal] people, toilet training takes such a strong hold that they let nothing pass their sphincters in sleep. For these people, the gas accumulates in the night and they vent it upon awakening."

 

So, near as I can tell, when I sleep in my bed, I apparently fart uncontrollably as I fall asleep and thus there is nothing left for early a.m. Backed Up Farts. (I'll be sure to soon ask Pamela to verify my Bedtime Farting Schedule.) But when I sleep in my recliner chair, I follow the normal routine (perhaps I subconsciously don't want to slowly destroy the chair's fabric over time with close-up, direct Bedtime Farting), so I hold the farts in til I awaken.

Too bad

We decided to disappear for awhile to give the Zombie blog time to catch up with our count.

Epic Failure!

"Zeeke's Top 10 Homoerotic Fantasies About Me"

(Written 10/17/12 by ChristopherK2 for the Uglier MDers blog)

Zeeke and the Zombies seem to believe that the absolute *worst* thing they can say about another guy is that he's gay. That's generally true of most homophobes, and most bigots think the same of whatever their focus is. Personally, I think the worst thing you can say about another guy is that he's a stupid, uneducated, obese bigot who spends his weekends "getting piss drunk" and "tearing up pussy."
 

But Ugly's recent article ("Come-a Come-a out of the Closet-O!") raises a more troubling possibility about Zeeke: that he has constant homoerotic fantasies about ME. Ugly noted that Zeeke "look(s) up gay pictures all day long and paste(s) heads on them. Think about it. Billy's actually searching for these pictures, and he's searching gay sites for them."
 

So, that naturally leads to the disturbing question, what are Zeeke's main sexual fantasies about ME? Well, here they are, based on HIS recent articles about ME:
 

10. I have a vagina. (WTF is that all about???)

9. He wants to "jerk off" while spanking me.

8. Zeeke wants to do a porn film, dressed as Hulk Hogan, with me.

7. He dreams regularly about my "butt nuggets."

6. He has dom fantasies about me dressed in leather, high heel boots, etc., with a whip.

5. He wants to "deposit" his sperm into my mouth at an ATM-like fixture in his bedroom.

4. Zeeke wants to dress me up as an old farmer woman, then do something disgusting with a pitchfork.

3. He loves the idea of me being bound up like a crazy person.

2. He fantasizes about me in a long, ugly wig, with a tampon stuffed up my butt.

And Zeeke's Number 1 Homoerotic Fantasy About ME is...

1. He has a case of "turd polish" he wants to use on me in--I'm sure--very creative ways.

"Vomit Stupidly Jumps on Zeeke's Homophobe Bandwagon"

 (Written 10/13/12 by ChristopherK2 for the Uglier MDers blog)

 

Vomit normally limits his banal little blog to Carp Burger Recipes and tales of how he spends his Vomit Dollars from collecting aluminum cans. But today Vomit decided to jump on Zeeke's bandwagon of ugly, homophobic rants about me. (This, shortly after bragging about how lonnnnnnnnnnnnnnng it had been since he had last featured me.)

 

I rarely respond to any of that nonsense because it's so laughable to anyone who knows me even a little bit, and I prefer to let them repeatedly show what vile and disgusting bigots they surely are.

 

Vomit's article looks exactly like most of Zeeke's near-daily obsessions over me, so I'm guessing Zeeke *ordered* Vomit to run one just to make it look like Zeeke isn't the ONLY Zombie totally obsessed over me. Yeah, I know it makes little sense, but that's about all we can expect from them.

 

Anywho... Vomit made one HUGE mistake with his version. He used a different pic of me than Zeeke normally does. Why would that matter? Let me show y'all. This is the part of Vomit's post with my pic:

 

 

 

 

 

I of course have the original of that entire pic. So, in an article in which Vomit goes on an ugly homophobic rant about my supposed gayness, guess who else is in the pic with me? Well, here you go...

 

 

 It's my fiancée, the Lovely Pamela!

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH, what Idiots they are...

And, I haven't yet figured out why Vomit reversed my pic. After all, I part my hair on the left side not the right.

Freudian Slip - you be the judge

I find this pretty telling and untrue. Let me hear your thoughts.

 

How is it smart to inject heroin in your body? How is is smart to sleep with endless men for money?

How is prostitution work when it is illegal?

Just how is a drug-addicted person going to pay for shelter/food/medical care when all their money is going in their arms?

 

I had a little hope for MVM till now. He truly is not bright.

 

 

"Why Zombies Hide Behind Anonymous Profiles"

(Written 10/10/12 by ChristopherK2 for the Uglier MDers blog)

Following is a recent exchange in the comments for one of the articles:

 

<< If I were Chris I'd get a restraining order. It's obvious he wants your body >>

<< Anonymous Zombie September 30, 2012 6:57 PM

are you kidding me? what body? have you looked at his pic? lololololol"

 

That's a fine example of why Zombies are cowards who hide behind Anonymous profiles. They figure we can't respond by pointing out that they, of course, have whatever fault they accuse us of having. They're simply too embarrassed to reveal themselves. Posting anonymously seemingly lets them cover up their flaws.

 

In that example, the Zombie would have the reader believe that HE is built like some sort of Adonis. If the truth be known, responses would probably go like this:

 

"Bak--You're one of the few humans who actually has a ROUND shape. Why are YOU giving anyone gas about their body?"

 

"Zeeke/Vomit--You're 5 pounds shy of being officially 'morbidly obese.' Why are YOU..."

 

"Pikle--You're a munchkin with a late-1960's hippie hairdo. Why are YOU..."

 

So, my basic approach is to respond assuming whichever Zombie I wish wrote the stupidity.

Eat Crow

Isn't it time Ronnie stops listening to Billy? As someone posted here recently, he's taking complete advantage of his lower than normal intelligence. Billy knows no one in the world buys his conspiracy theories and lies, except for Ronnie. Ronnie, with a combination of inebriation and low IQ, is a socially isolated pariah like Billy.




If Ronnie sobered up and surrounded himself with decent people, maybe he could break the chain of constantly being made to look ridiculous. I mean Zeeke tells him to delete a blog and he does it and falls for Billy's chants of see they will think you really were termed and are obsessed with you (meanwhile what Billy is doing is trying to actually get people to come to the blog.)



Poor Ronnie. Maybe we can encourage him to start a carpburger restaurant? Who wants to take Ronnie under their wing to get him away from being taken advantage of?

"The Top 10 Reasons Vomit's Blog was Nuked"

(Written 10/4/12 by ChristopherK2 for the Uglier MDers blog)

 

10. Blogger decided that it was "Maryland's Most Boring Blog."

 

9. Vomit's last article disclosed personal data of Blogger's president. Dumb, dumber, dumbest...

8. Zeeke *ordered* Vomit to nuke it because it was FAR more popular than Zeeke's blog.

 

7. Vomit decided to totally reform his vile, disgusting life and is now studying to be a Tibetan Buddhist monk. His new blog is titled, "For the Sake of All Beings."

6. He posted a video of what he *really* does with those dead fish.

 

5. Vomit's wife said, "Delete that stupid, @#?&$ blog, or you ain't getting no more nooky."

4. In a drunken stupor, Vomit thought Blogger's tool to "delete blog" meant he could delete Ugly's blog.

 

3. In a fit of political correctness, Blogger yielded to PETA's frequent complaint that Vomit repeatedly posted pics of "dead and obviously abused and tortured" fish.

 

2. Vomit ran out of ideas for vile and disgusting rants. Unlike Zeeke, he couldn't bring himself to endlessly repeat the same old crap.

And the Number 1 Reason Vomit's Blog was Nuked is...

1. Vomit accepted MY offer to delete his blog in exchange for a case of Olde Frothingslosh ("the pale stale ale with the foam on the bottom").

"The Top 10 Reasons Zeeke Has Been Fired from a Job"

(Written 9/30/12 by ChristopherK2 for the Uglier MDers Blog)

10. Zeeke brought Beth's large dogs to work and let them run free. One of them took a huge dump on the president's new, expensive, leather desk chair.

9. Zeeke accidentally sent one of his homophobic rants to the Director of Human Resources, who happened to be gay.

8. Zeeke generally started getting "piss drunk" for the weekend on Friday afternoons at 2 p.m.

7. His incessant whining about my articles was driving everyone nuts.

6. One company found out that Zeeke's claim on his résumé that he had a PhD in English Literature was << gasp >> a lie.

5. The 27 long distance calls to Vomit every day to coordinate their responses to Ugly's blog was just stunningly stupid.

4. One company's health insurer threatened to cancel the policy if Zeeke put on five more pounds, thereby becoming morbidly obese.

3. He spent most of the day scouring the internet for pics he could copy/paste my face on to.

2. Mensa sent copies of the Maryland Judiciary Case Search site results for Zeeke's entire family to one company, along with a link to his blog.

And the Number 1 Reason Zeeke Was Fired from a Job was...

1. He got caught "tearing up pussy" on the top of his desk with the receptionist.

Come-a Come-a out of the Closet-O!

It's more than safe to say Billy wants to try some cock. Absolutely, 100 percent certain here. There is no doubt in my mind his penis rises when he thinks about another dude's package.

I'm a dude who likes vagina and have no desire look up gay pictures all day long and paste heads on them. Think about it. Billy's actually searching for these pictures, and he's searching gay sites for them. What straight man does that? And what kind of pictures are these? Almost all with a man with his mouth opened. Doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure this out he would like to start with some head from another guy.

What are latent homosexual feelings?
is an erotic inclination toward members of the same sex that is not consciously experienced or expressed in overt action. This may mean a hidden inclination or potential for interest in homosexual relationships, which is either suppressed or not recognised, and which has not yet been explored or may never be explored in fact.

A theory that homophobia is a result of latent homosexuality was put forth in the late 20th century. A 1996 study conducted at the University of Georgia by Henry Adams, Lester Wright Jr., and Bethany Lohr[1] indicates that a number of homophobic males exhibit latent homosexuality. The research was done on 64 heterosexual men, 35 of whom exhibited homophobic traits and 29 who did not. They were assigned to groups on the basis of their scores on the Index of Homophobia (W. W. Hudson & W. A. Ricketts, 1980). The groups did not differ in aggression.[1]

Three tests were conducted using penile plethysmography. While there was no difference in response when the men were exposed to heterosexual and lesbian pornography, there was a major difference in response when the men were exposed to male homosexual pornography.

The researchers reported that 24% of the non-homophobic men showed some degree of tumescence in response to the male homosexual video, compared to 54% of the subjects who scored high on the homophobia scale. In addition, 66% of the non-homophobic group showed no significant increases in tumescence after this video, but only 20% of the homophobic men failed to display any arousal. Additionally, when the participants rated their degree of sexual arousal later, the homophobic men significantly underestimated their degree of arousal by the male homosexual video.

The results of this study indicate that individuals who score in the homophobic range and admit negative affect toward homosexuality demonstrate significant sexual arousal to male homosexual erotic stimuli.

A possible explanation is found in various psychoanalytic theories, which have generally explained homophobia as a threat to an individual's own homosexual impulses causing repression, denial, or reaction formation (or all three; West, 1977). Generally, these varied explanations conceive of homophobia as one type of latent homosexuality where persons either are unaware of or deny their homosexual urges.[1]

Another explanation of these data is found in Barlow, Sakheim, and Beck's (1983) theory of the role of anxiety and attention in sexual responding. It is possible that viewing homosexual stimuli causes negative emotions such as anxiety in homophobic men but not in nonhomophobic men. Because anxiety has been shown to enhance arousal and erection, this theory would predict increases in erection in homophobic men.[1]

Reparative therapy advocates disagree that the homophobic males were stimulated by genuine latent homosexuality, claiming that the stimulation arose from negative emotions such as anxiety.

What's stopping him?
Fear of family rejection.

How can we help him come out to his family?

• Maybe have him put a small recorder in a stuffed animal which will say I'm gay and give it to relatives for Christmas?
• Take up a collection so he can get a rainbox tattoo on his forearm.
• Buy him some sparkly t-shirts to replace the wife beater shirts.
• Replace Christopher's pictures on his blog with himself and send his family the link to it.

Let's hear some more suggestions and help this struggling fellow become a happy one. Maybe in a few years we'll all get some special wedding invites!

　

"What Would You Do If You Knew You Were Dying?"

(Written 9/23/12 by ChristopherK2 for the Uglier MDers blog)

 

That is a fairly common discussion in Geezer World, so I thought I summarize it here (with some adjustments for the Zombies, of course).  I'll be very interested in the thoughts of you youngin's.

 

Let's say that you have been told by a group of world-class doctors that you have exactly one year to live, that you'll be fine until the last month, and at that point you'll become pretty much useless.

 

The obvious emotional devastation aside, just exactly how would you spend those 11 good months?  It's not a Top 10 List, but following are some possibilities:

 

1. Create and carry out a "bucket list" of stuff you've thought about doing but never got around to because you've been too poor, too lazy, or just not all that interested.

 

2. Ignore the whole problem and just carry on normally, hoping it'll all just go away.

 

3. Spend as much time as possible "getting piss drunk and tearing up pussy."

 

4. Make sure all of your affairs are in order, pick out your casket, etc.

 

5. Spend as much time as possible with your family, best friends, etc.

 

6. Prepare letters to be sent *after* you die to everyone you've hated detailing your reasons.

 

7. Join a radical religious order (say, Catholicism) and pray 24/7/365 for a miracle.

 

8. Spend the bulk of your time working on the 14 "To Do" lists that you've been ignoring so that you can feel that you've "completed" your life, or something.

 

9. Post a confession on your blog that your "Mindfuck Game" was really created by your 5-year-old niece.

 

10. Start doing all of those things you didn't do before because they were bad for your health, like the Lemon Meringue Pie Diet, Chocolate Malted Milkshake Tuesdays, Unprotected Sex, and Cuban Cigars.

 

11. Make sure that you write at least FIVE blog articles a DAY about ME with my face pasted onto various pics you've STOLEN off the internet.

 

12. Leave instructions that you want to be frozen at the last minute and wrapped up in aluminum foil like Woody Allen in "Sleeper," and then waken up and fixed whenever the Orgasmatron has been invented.

Rainbow outside my house

Ugly wants another vacation

Monika has been crying non-stop. I offered to get her another kitty and she offered to throw me out the door. This was purely an accident. This is my public explanation and apology to her.

Where we live has a lot of land. Barney is a special breed, a bengal cat, so we allowed Bengal to roam free. I did not know Barn was in the car. Until I was at the end of my road. I stopped to admire the sunset, right at the end of my driveway facing the adjacent farm with the little red wagon near the mailbox.

I should have known better than to stop but beauty can be distracting.  Next thing I know my car was raining with cat hair and loud shrieks as Barney flew up to the front and went to town scratch at the slightly rolled down window. Which just happened to be my window. So I have not only cat ass in my face, nine approaching killer dobermans, but now my coffee is in my lap and my leather is raining. I had no choice but to roll down the window.

He jumped out. The dogs jumped on. I revved the engine up and the dogs were everywhere. I threw it in gear n the dogs scattered a bit then circled back around the back of the car. I threw my Benz in reverse and the dogs scattered again. I ran over a log. Or so I thought.

Honey I am sorry please forgive me.