"Alan, One of the Lesser Zombies"

(Written 3/24/12 by ChristopherK2 for the Uglier MDers blog)

 

I used to occasionally chat in the room with Alan about gardening, but little else because he was a hostile right-winger, a disgusting racist, and just not too bright.  Then he became a Zombie, and that ended things between us.

 

Lately, he's taken to doing insipid drive-bys in my room.  They reminded me of something I first learned with Beth.

 

She once attacked me in the room saying that I needed to "get out (sic) the house... (and) breathe fresh air."  I scratched my head for awhile at a pasty-white, work-at-home, glued-to-her-computer corporate drone telling that to a nicely-tanned avid gardener and outdoor photographer. I thought of, but rejected, hypocrisy.  I eventually concluded that it was just her way of venting at HERself.  She wanted sooooooo badly to be playing golf or softball instead of typing away in the solitude of her office.

 

Similarly, Zeeke used to criticize -- among many examples -- "fat gurlz" and rag people about their teeth.  And it was later, of course, found out that he has a huge gap in his teeth and is almost morbidly obese.

 

As to Alan, his two drive-bys (so far) were:

 

Xalan39o3x: a lonely man living a lonely life...how sad (at about 9:15 p.m. Friday evening)

Xalan39o3x: sad,very sad chris........look where life has taken you (between 2 a.m. and 6:45 a.m., Saturday)

 

Alan... buddy... I'm sorry that being stuck in a long-distance marriage and retired with zippo to do has left you soooo frickin' bored and lonely after being away from wifey-poo for five grueling days that you're reduced to dashing thru chat rooms accusing others of being what YOU so obviously ARE. 

 

Please do everyone a favor, get some hand lotion and whack it off AGAIN.  She'll be by soon (we all hope).  Poor, poor Alan...

 

I'm sure there's a fancy psychological name for what these people routinely do.  Anyone know what it is???  Well, other than being a Zombie, I meant...