"Help Me, I've Been Fishnapped!"

Written 9/30/11 by ChristopherK2 on behalf of Fred the Bass)


I desperately need your help! Pam has fishnapped me and is holding me in sexual bondage at this farm somewhere in Virginia. She makes me do disgusting things to her a couple of times a day. She says that unless I cooperate she'll panfry me in butter.

Pam paid the guy in the pic $5 to pose with me, and he's my only hope of survival. Pam has been making up SNs and sending out this pic to AOL women hoping to get information about some guy she hates (K2 or something... I dunno).

If you know who the guy in the pic really is, please notify Ugly (the owner of this blog). He has agreed to secretly pass the information to the Fish Abuse Society of Virginia without identifying you. The FASofVA will then contact the guy, and hopefully be able to find me and release me back into the pretty stream from which Pam snatched me.

P.S. If you know the name of a good shrink who can help me recover from the vile, despicable things Pam did, I'd appreciate a referral.

Thanks in advance!

Fred the Bass

"No Wonder Everyone (except Bonnie) Hates Pam"

(Written 9/29/11 by ChristopherK2 for the Uglier MDers Blog)

After her thoroughly disgusting actions towards her former Fuck Buddy Wannabe Colmac in the chat room that one night, a normal, decent adult would've profusely apologized, explained, promised to never do it again, and asked for forgiveness from the many who were deeply offended. That would've ended the drama, and we all could've moved on to more pleasant chats.

But not Pam! After I bolted her, she immediately took to blogging me, mainly making up easily-refutable "facts," and ranting about noonecareswhat. She also enlisted Bonnie for unquestioning support.

Sad to say, though, Pam has also since expanded her looniness to other activities:

1. She's made up Sham SNs in order to sneak back into the room, for reasons I still don't understand. (Logging? Gathering intel? Don't know, don't care, doesn't matter.)

2. She actually telephoned Colmac about a chat log that was posted here. (STALKER ALERT!!!)

2. In a desperate quest to be allowed back into the room (not gonna happen), Pam has also harassed several other roomies who weren't even aware of her ugly attacks on Colmac. They are now! LOL

3. Pam has also repeatedly attacked AF205CNE by IM under her Svapam SN, and tried to pry information out of AF under her Sham SNs. AF's major "sin" in Pam's view apparently is being a personal friend of Colmac, and defending him in the room. A recent near-midnight IM to AF shows the pathetic depths to which Pam has sunk:

Svapam [11:45 P.M.]: hey asshole
Svapam [11:46 P.M.]: got anything you want to say about me
Svapam [11:46 P.M.]: now run along to wimpy chrissy and tell him i called you an asshole
Svapam [11:53 P.M.]: and tell you wimpy chrissy that he should put all his spare time to better use then blogging about me
Svapam [11:53 P.M.]: like maybe fucking you

Yeah, I'm going to let her back into the room. << cough, cough >>

Pam--Just give up and find another room to hassle. In just a few weeks, you can have yet another large group of people who hate you!

"It's My 15th (Chat Room) Anniversay!"

(Written 9/27/11 by ChristopherK2 for the Uglier Marylanders blog)

Although I can't be certain of the exact date, it was this time of the year in 1996 that I first entered the Marylanders (its name back then) chat room. So, I'm counting today as my official 15th anniversary with this chat room group. Yeah me!!!

I had joined AOL in the summer of 1996 mainly to read various magazines and newspapers online. A few months later I read about the chat rooms and thought they sounded interesting. I was living alone in Scottsdale, AZ, far from my Maryland home. So I thought it might be interesting to try chatting with folks from my old stomping grounds.

That small decision has led to 15 years of ups and downs, but mostly some great memories and outcomes. A few of them follow...

Great Women: Not only did I meet my wonderful fiancée thru AOL, but a lot of others who were "just friends." Ladyhawg (Nancy), for example, was not just gorgeous, but also intelligent, educated, tall, funny, and she lived life large. There were many others, like Lady Exec, ZimaGal, VickiSue, and (pre-Zombie) HamOnWry. Some I've remained in touch with, much to my delight.

Social Functions: These were very popular back then for several years. The second one I attended, for example, was a semi-formal Valentine's Day dinner dance with about 200 people. I went to many of the nightclub events, but that wasn't really my thing. I mostly enjoyed the family picnic atmosphere at Clark's Restaurant... good food, sports, swimming, music, etc.

I Rediscovered Photography: That interest had been dormant since my marriage ended eight years earlier. But self-pics were rare on AOL at the time. So I bought a flatbed scanner after I returned to Maryland, and began taking pics at social functions. I photographed hundreds of AOLers, and my interest in photography in general took off.

I Rediscovered my Interest in Creative Writing: I hadn't written anything creative for many years. But in the early years of AOL, message boards were quite popular. So, I joined several and began again to write poetry, fiction, editorials, and much else. And I obviously still do a lot of writing.

The Chat Rooms: They've always reflected the overall group, so they've gone from several large rooms to two small ones, from nice adult chat to predominantly ugliness, and from crowded and dynamic to near-empty and often moribund. I don't hold out much hope for the future of our chat rooms; they are both below critical mass at this point and I see no hope of the factions combining. I see them fading away, sooner rather than later.

But no matter what happens in the near future, I'll still have left from my AOL experiences a few friends, and all those wonderful memories... oh... and a LOT of pics!

Swami

Where is Swami? I want a prediction which Zombie(s) will be brave enough to post under their real name. Until then folks!

I'm Speechless

"I Just Set a Blogging Record!!!"

(Written 9/13/11 by ChristopherK2 for the Uglier Marylanders blog)

I'm feeling all proud and shit of myself this morning for setting what I'm sure is some kind of all-time Marylanders blog record. I've now "been blogged" on four, yes, count them... FOUR different blogs.

In addition to the expected trashings on here, and on Zeeke's and Vomit's blogs, I was just blogged on Bonnie's!

In my upcoming acceptance speech at the First Annual Marylanders Blog Awards, I will detail my many wonderful personal traits that led to this, and thank all of the many "little people" who were instrumental in my remarkable achievement. Without giving away too much, let's just say that I'm "universally loved" and some of the "little people" are, well, not so little.

The nature of the award hasn't yet been announced, but I'm hoping for Major $$$. Well, at least a huge trophy. Hmmm... a ribbon? A stinkin' ribbon??? C'mon, you give ribbons to your frickin' cat for pooping in the litter box!

Anywho, it doesn't much matter because my Big Book Deal with a Major Publishing Company is contingent only on me being the *sole* winner of the award. And I already have that locked up UNLESS a couple of NEW blogs are started before the deadline and some now Second Place Slacker gets slammed and I don't. And that's not likely given that EVERY blogger now wants to take shots at me. I'm sooooooooooooo loved.

Whose blog is this?

Please make sure you take the time to do our poll. Or just put your accusations here.

"How the Mighty Have Fallen..."

(Written 9/10/11 by ChristopherK2 for the Uglier Marylanders blog)

The once semi-proud Love Fest room has been slowly but surely reducing itself to its essential trash. And that process has been recently accelerating. Its days of Zeeke's loud proclamations of it being "one of the most popular chatrooms on AOL" are but a distant memory, now replaced by not-all-that much.

Early Friday morning, AOL pulled another of its "dump non-essential SNs" tricks. Although *I* was offended to be included, it did reduce both rooms to just two SNs. As you can see by this print screen, none of their other regular 24/7 Campers had returned by even 7:00 a.m. (At that point, my room was its usual rocking self, with seven nice people engaging in pleasant chat.)

It would take several more hours for Love Fest to recover somewhat. As you can see below, by 11 a.m, it was up to 10 SNs. Oddly, Zeeke wasn't there nor was Beth. Beth had been MIA for several days. That's not exactly a chatty group, but that's been generally true of Love Fest all along. The early morning group had left my room by then, and so it was back to its usual five SNs not saying much.

Alas for Zeeke, 10 SNs was about as good as it would get that day. It would peak at 11 at about 4 p.m. and again at 9 p.m. More typical, though, was this group at 5 p.m.
Merely *seven* SNs in a room that used to brag about MANY MORE than that... And nearly all of them are 24/7 Campers, so we can safely assume almost nothing was being said. My room had six SNs at that point, and not much chat was occuring.

The last snapshot I'll show you is below, from almost 8 p.m. It again almost reached its peak of 11 SNs, but would quickly start losing them after 9 p.m. as people headed off to bed. My room was having one of its usual mid-evening mini-surges, with eight SNs chatting away.
For the day, Love Fest averaged just a shocking 7.6 SNs... amazing. My room averaged 5.6, but *I* have never said it was "one of the most popular chatrooms on AOL." <> My simple goal has always been for my room to be a safe place for nice people to have pleasant chats with each other.

A few quick thoughts...

1. It kinda puts the kibosh on Zeeke's claim of having the "overwhelming majority of Maryland chatters."

2. When Ham's not around, Love Fest quickly begins evaporating. Apparently many of the Love Fest regulars agree with me... she's about the only interesting person still in there.

3. When Zeeke's not around, well, things aren't much affected for better or for worse.

"Apparently It CAN Get Worse..."

(Written 8/31/11 by ChristopherK2 for the Uglier Marylanders Blog)

I was totally wrong (for a change). Zeeke has managed to outdo himself. I hereby give him the "Totally Obsessed With AOL Drama" Award...

"You couldn't be a whore"

Quite the tell tale second sentence.