"An Open Letter to Zeeke"

(Written 8/23/10 by ChristopherK2 for the Uglier Marylanders Blog)

I know that you "never read blogs," but that is, of course, just another of your endless lies. You will read this because you must. Every fiber of your being is desperate to prove there's some sort of rough equivalence between you and me. We both know that there isn't. I, along with most of the others in the chat room, are vastly superior to you. But that's not for any objective reason, although I obviously am far more educated, intelligent, well-spoken, etc., than you.

No, it's because I'm a nice, normal, mature adult. And you are pond scum. And the same comparison holds true for vast numbers of other nice, normal, mature, adult roomies past and present.

Nice, normal adults work hard at their jobs (or are retired, like me, or for an unfortunate few, physically disabled). Nice, normal adults do normal activities in their spare time like going to church, watching TV, fixing up their homes, going bowling. They interact with other similar adults by being pleasant, interested in the other person, friendly, concerned, etc. And they occasionally go into AOL chat rooms to relax a bit, chat with their buddies, etc.

Boring? Perhaps... but the vast majority of our population is that way.

How do you stack up, Zeeke? Let's review...

1. Full-time Chat Room Bully. You spend 40+ hours per week in an AOL Chat Room playing your "mind fuck" game: viciously assaulting as many people as you can in as ugly a manner as you can. You use profanity as a weapon because you think it works (it doesn't) and your vocabulary is so limited. You use the other usual tactics of a bully: threats, ganging up, belittling, condescension, demeaning, hypocrisy, attacking, etc.

And we know from the SSR chat room logs that you take AOL more seriously than most, and that you're the same in private as you are in the main chat room.

2. Disgusting Bigotry. You spew ugly hatred that paints you as nearly every form of bigot--anti-Semite, homophobe, misogynist--as well as hatred towards the handicapped, the overweight, and many other classes of people you deem as unworthy. Nice, normal, mature adults, on the other hand, really don't give a crap about any of those differences among us. Or, as George Will once wrote, "Such know-nothingism is a stench in the nostrils of reasonable people."

3. Lying, Rumor Mongering, etc. As with all Drama Queens, you lie frequently, poorly, and without remorse. You create and repeat ugly rumors as if they're facts. You also--without hesitation or any care about self-contradiction--exaggerate, distort, dissemble, and prevaricate. Nice, normal, mature adults do none of those things.

4. AOL Addict. Your idea of fun activities outside of the AOL Chat Room is apparently to regularly get "piss drunk" with the others in your little clique. The vast majority of adults got over that by our early-20s and went on to the activities I mentioned above. Your other interaction with your "friends" seems to be limited to sharing a hatred of certain people in the room. ("Hate-based" I think you call it.)

5. Judiciary Record. You have had innumerable encounters with the law and the courts and no doubt will continue to do so. You have snowed and misled many in the room as to what your judiciary site record truly means. But you know that I know exactly what it means. And nice, normal people simply don't do the things that lead to that kind of record.

6. Life Goals. You've made it abundantly clear many times that your main goal is to destroy the chat room. Nice, normal people have goals like raising a family, doing a good job at work, serving their community, and such.

Summary. I've known bigoted bullies like you all my life, and have never been impressed. You make much sport of what will happen if you and I should ever meet. But ask Mikeyboy what will really happen. As I did with him, I'll look you in the eye, and shake your hand as I say, "Hi, I'm ChristopherK2, the guy you've threatened to beat up so many times." And like Mikeyboy, you will do absolutely nothing. Well, unless you're far stupider than I can imagine. We both know that if you beat up a frail, old, retired attorney in front of witnesses, you will do several years of hard time. There will be no nole prosequi or stet docket.

The Future. Oddly enough, I think you might "win" as to destroying the chat room, although I don't think you understand how temporary that "Great Victory" would be. It's often said that "Bad drives out Good unless Good is very, very good." But that doesn't apply here. Many nice, normal people have fled not because they fear you but merely because they have better things to do than watching a disgustingly ugly AOL chat room. If you succeed at driving them all away, then two things will happen.

First, you'll be stuck with that miserable bunch of people in your little clique. And we've all seen what that means when y'all hid in the SSR for several months. Your room was moribund the vast majority of the day, and came alive only to rant about what y'all saw on the widget. There was almost zero "normal" chat. Without others to verbally assault, your little clique will dissolve over time. That's because y'all are otherwise mind numbingly boring, even in each other's eyes.

And then--and you'll hate this--nice, normal, mature adults will once again return and take over the room. And we'll occasionally point and laugh at our rapidly-fading memories of you and your little clique, as happened with the Mensa Cult, the Clowns, et al.

Christopher