Thursday, January 13, 2011

"Top 10 Changes I'd Have to Make to be Like Zeeke"

(Written 1/12/11 by ChristopherK2 for the Uglier Marylanders Blog)

It's often said by Zeeke and the Zombies that I'm jealous of Zeeke. Well, let's see... how would I have to change to be like Zeeke?

I would have to...

10. shrink an inch and pack on 75 extra pounds, and switch my "tall, slim" classy wardrobe to mortifying green muscle shirts and other clothes in size XXXL.

9. trash the six diplomas I received after high school (especially the law degree).

8. forget all of the related knowledge and experience I've acquired in engineering, math, business, law, economics, investments, insurance, the sciences, etc.

7. figure out how to cuss at and insult people in an AOL chat room for 5+ hours a day without boring myself stupid.

6. replace my gorgeous, nice, much younger fiancee with "tearing up pussy" on the weekends.

5. get caught doing several disgusting or violent acts, as well get a 2nd divorce, to match his ugly MD Judiciary Site record.

4. purge most of my vocabulary and my understanding of grammar, spelling, and punctuation.

3. pretend I like "Bean Spiller" Beth, "Everyone's Now Welcome" Ponie, "N-Bomb" Vomit/Pikle, and the other Zombies.

2. develop an apparently unquenchable thirst for cheap beer.

And the Number 1 Change I'd Have to Make to be Like Zeeke is to...

1. lower my IQ about 50 points.
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13 comments:

  1. AnonymousJanuary 14, 2011 at 2:40 PM

    Christopher, that has been the best 10 list I have ever seen. You once has surpassed yourself. No. 1 was the best lol. Your list is better than the Top 10 List of David Letterman. Keep up the good work dear lol.
    P. S. Just proves that you dont have to study for your GED. lol

    ReplyDelete
  2. ChristopherK2January 14, 2011 at 9:12 PM

    << Christopher, that has been the best 10 list I have ever seen. >>

    Thanks, I've watched a LOT of Johnny Carson and Jay Leno.

    << No. 1 was the best lol. >>

    Yeah, I cringe at the thought of packing on 75 or so pounds. Even back in my jock days, I decided to stay at 175. It fit well with the sports I enjoyed, although I often thought another 10-20 pounds might help. But I also knew how much work that meant.

    ReplyDelete
  3. AnonymousJanuary 15, 2011 at 4:45 AM

    hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

    ReplyDelete
  4. RedSkyBayJanuary 15, 2011 at 10:08 AM

    Funny article Christopher! Another thing you would have to do to be like Zeek, is to lose the class you have. It is pretty obvious that Zeek doesn't know what the word means, much less possess it.

    ReplyDelete
  5. ChristopherK2January 16, 2011 at 12:24 PM

    << Funny article Christopher! >> Red Sky

    Thanks Darling!

    << Another thing you would have to do to be like Zeek, is to lose the class you have. >>

    Awwwww, aren't you just so kind! Thanks again!

    << It is pretty obvious that Zeek doesn't know what the word means, much less possess it. >>

    And I'd say that's generally true of the Zombies, too. Much of what Zeeke and most of the Zombies say is just so déclassé.

    ReplyDelete
  6. AnonymousJanuary 16, 2011 at 9:15 PM

    K2 your jelousie shows. All you do is write about Billy

    ReplyDelete
  7. AnonymousJanuary 16, 2011 at 9:29 PM

    Anonymous said...
    K2 your jelousie shows. All you do is write about Billy





    Well as I see it Billy and Rose write about themselves....so are they Jealous too?
    I don't see K2 doing anything other than what other's have been doing for year's.
    Just because he does it better are you jealous?
    Keep it up Chris I enjoy your stuff!

    ReplyDelete
  8. AnonymousJanuary 17, 2011 at 1:36 AM

    K2 is a fag.

    ReplyDelete
  9. ChristopherK2January 17, 2011 at 3:49 AM

    << K2 your jelousie shows. >>
    << K2 is a fag. >>

    Make that an IQ drop of 75, not 50, points...

    ReplyDelete
  10. ChristopherK2January 17, 2011 at 3:59 AM

    << Just because he does it better are you jealous? Keep it up Chris I enjoy your stuff! >>

    Thanks!

    If jealousy is measured by the number of comments one makes about another, Zeeke is at least 20,000 ahead of me. He's been yammering away at me in the room for more than five years without a single response from me.

    ReplyDelete
  11. AnonymousJanuary 17, 2011 at 4:20 PM

    Zeek is the master of dumbness or should I say dumbass. Ive yet to figure what kind of job he says he has had for the last 12 years that allows him to be in the room 24/7. I personally when Im done on my computer I sign off. I have better things to do with my time than stay on line all the time. I think he is afraid he is going to miss something. If he is such a good father why is he on here so much and not spending more time with his son?

    ReplyDelete
  12. AnonymousJanuary 18, 2011 at 2:36 PM

    "Anonymous said...
    K2 your jelousie shows. All you do is write about Billy
    January 16, 2011 6:15 PM "


    Um excuse me but WTF is a "jelousie?" You look like a complete idiot trying to spell a big word like that. Ever heard of a dictionary or does that big word confuse you too?

    ReplyDelete
  13. AnonymousJanuary 18, 2011 at 5:43 PM

    That was probably Judy that wrote "jelousie." She reads the blog and has the mentality of a rock.

    ReplyDelete

Don't be jealous of the Ugly's.

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