(Written 4/21/11 by ChristopherK2 for the Uglier Marylanders Blog)
I'm among those least likely to believe in conspiracy theories, like the current "birther" nonsense. But I recognize that some people swear by them, even the few who still think the Moon landing was filmed on a back lot of a movie studio.
I also had thought about trying out my hand at long-form, interactive stories in the chat room. (Mensa was a true master at painting paranoid delusions in the room, so a tip of the hat to her.) So, here's the one I trotted out in the room the other morning.
ChristopherK2: I have a theory, guys.
Xxyesmemike: ok go for it ..
ChristopherK2: As we all know, Perky and Pikle are two of the lesser Zombies.
Xxyesmemike: ok
Automotive1: bottom feeders?
ChristopherK2: They're generally ignored even by other Zombies.
Xxyesmemike: lmao
Automotive1: true
Xxyesmemike: o my
Automotive1: golly
Perkyonex2: hence...we aren't zombie !
ChristopherK2: So, Zeeke banished them to the early a.m. hours with the assignment to make it as miserable as they make the rest of the day.
Xxyesmemike: its like a cult
Automotive1: I see
ChristopherK2: And there's plenty of proof for it.
Automotive1: yep
Xxyesmemike: its like shifts
Perkyonex2: I can't believe a grown man even thinks like that
ChristopherK2: Like Pikle and Perky repeatedly reporting their results in the room in the evening.
Automotive1: true
Automotive1: what a life
Perkyonex2: no one listens to us anyway
ChristopherK2: He pats them on the head a bit, and sends them back to the mess.
Xxyesmemike: he makes them feel good
ChristopherK2: And the other Zombies sometimes reluctantly chat with them to help out.
ChristopherK2: Otherwise, guys, we're about the only ones who will willingly chat with them.
ChristopherK2: I mean, who would? They've both become about 99% ugly in the room, driving nice people away from them.
Xxyesmemike: here to be a asshole then ?
Automotive1: 99.9 tyvm
ChristopherK2: And they say the same stupid crap every day over and over AND OVER til you want to poke your eye with a sharp stick.
Xxyesmemike: does this make you feel good everyday perky ??
Automotive1: yes
Perkyonex2: K2 !!! you FINALLY said something true !!!
Perkyonex2: I say STUPID crap...
Perkyonex2: you are RIGHT
Perkyonex2: BINGO!!!!!
Automotive1: REDUNDANT
Xxyesmemike: then why post about what is said
Perkyonex2: THAT is the smartest thing I've ever seen K2 say
Automotive1: she has talked soooo much has nothing new to say UNLESS you all feed the Pig Information
Perkyonex2: STUPID Crap !!
Perkyonex2: EXACTLY!!!
Xxyesmemike: try playing bingo mite do something for you
ChristopherK2: I dimly remember when Perky used to be both nice and interesting. That was in her pre-Zombie days.
Perkyonex2: lol
ChristopherK2: Pikle never was, at least that I remember.
Perkyonex2: OMG a MAJOR break through
Automotive1: I think her mother liked her
Automotive1: not sure
Xxyesmemike: play bingo ,, when alan gets home yall can kissie face
ChristopherK2: Pikle reminds me more of Funix, who used to type random symbols into the room.
ChristopherK2: Then he joined Mensa, became the Chief Techie for the Soss Cult.
Perkyonex2: I love it. K2..said it all this morning I say STUPID CRAP
Perkyonex2: Mikey's STUPID CRAP
ChristopherK2: Suddenly he was "popular," or so he thought.
Xxyesmemike: funny perky you and your buddys only see this ..
Perkyonex2: there is a GOD !!!
ChristopherK2: After Mensa came to her senses and left, poor Funix went back to being ignored by everyone.
Xxyesmemike: perky is popular now wooohoooo
Xxyesmemike: all bow
Perkyonex2: I am?
Xxyesmemike: you try too be ..
Perkyonex2: ^5 K2
ChristopherK2: So, once Zeeke leaves--and we all know that he will--then Pikle will go back to being universally ignored.
Automotive1: she has hit bottom
Perkyonex2: LMAO
Perkyonex2: that's funny as shit
ChristopherK2: But alas for Perky, she shot her pre-Zombie popularity in the foot.
Automotive1: she did
Automotive1: AGAIN
Perkyonex2: I could give a rats ass what anyone in here thinks about me
Xxyesmemike: lmao
ChristopherK2: The other Zombies have nothing in common with her, so they'll ignore her again.
Automotive1: most of the gals that IM me say she is a fool
Perkyonex2: and that's fine
Xxyesmemike: wow chris .
ChristopherK2: And those who USED to like her will no longer have anything to do with her.
ChristopherK2: So, she'll be all alone, except for Alan.
Xxyesmemike: they see crap is crap
Perkyonex2: define have anyting to do with me?
ChristopherK2: boo hoo....
Automotive1: poor BASTARD
Perkyonex2: I'm a loner...Ive said that many times in here also
Perkyonex2: I don't need people
Perkyonex2: MIKEYS STUPID CRAP
Perkyonex2: Mikey...why don't you discuss K2s "fiance" with him
Perkyonex2: he seems to be in here an awful lot for someone who is engaged
Xxyesmemike: why
Perkyonex2: why isn't he spending time with his fiance?
Xxyesmemike: well he is not married
Perkyonex2: so
Perkyonex2: he's engaged
Xxyesmemike: married you spend each day with each other
Perkyonex2: shouldn't he be spending time with his fiance
ChristopherK2: Gee... Perky is getting all hyperventilated and stuff. I wonder why.
Xxyesmemike: you spend as much time as you need .. till you get married
Perkyonex2: we see each other more than a lot of people do
Perkyonex2: I am?
ChristopherK2: Good thing she logs the room, which will make it easy to send all of this to Zeeke and the other Zombies.
ChristopherK2: I expect to catch shit for all of this for YEARS to come.
ChristopherK2: MANY years...
Perkyonex2: you won't catch shit for years
ChristopherK2: "I still remember when K2 ranted for HOURS one morning about a conspiracy theory for the Zombies. He's soooooooooo addicted to us."
ChristopherK2: I think I just wrote my next blog article on-the-fly.
Perkyonex2: YAY! !
ChristopherK2: I wasn't paying attention all the time. Was Perky foaming at the mouth the whole time, or just intermittently?
Perkyonex2: make sure you spell MIKEYS STUPID CRAP correctly
Xxyesmemike: another 40 some posts .. on how 10 years act
Xxyesmemike: olds
ChristopherK2: I mean, I saw her repeat some stupid Zombie crap about my fiancee. Was there anything else she said of note?
Automotive1: nope
ChristopherK2: Good... it's sometimes hard to tell at 3,000 wpm.
Xxyesmemike: just makes the crew say ... good job perky ..
Xxyesmemike: she gets a pat on the back today
ChristopherK2: I'm sure she will, guys. Zeeke is usually generous with his praise when she claims a "great victory" over us.
Xxyesmemike: do you get a prize for this
Xxyesmemike: hold your head high .. go to work tell everyone .. i kicked there ass in a chat room
Xxyesmemike: she is a chat room star ..hmm wonder if we could make a song about this
ChristopherK2: The Zombies are more like a collection of needy, obsessive folks desperately clinging to each other.
Xxyesmemike: good point chris
[Extraneous and plain stupid chat deleted, along with any that didn't fit my purposes.]
Perky is one ugly broad
ReplyDeleteAllan had been trolling aol for years for fresh meat. He had picked up women on aol not just in his own state but in neighboring states as well.
ReplyDeletePerky isnt the first woman from md he scored. The one from md before her was far more intelligent and attractive.
When most aol couples meet and get married they leave the chat room because they know it is the smart thing to do. Perky isnt smart enough to figure this out or she is just too obsessed with the room. Whichever it is, good luck Perky.
You are going to need it down the road.
When people get married dont they live together ?
ReplyDeleteDoes anyone have a good recipe for Louisiana boudin?
ReplyDeleteCHRIS IS A BITTER WEIRDO HOMO
ReplyDelete<< CHRIS IS A BITTER WEIRDO HOMO >>
ReplyDeleteFor her last vacation, yo' momma did the entire 7th fleet including the gals.
PRANCER WEARS HIS MOMS HI HEALS AND STILL SLEEPS IN BED WITH A TEDDIE BEAR
ReplyDeleteI don't understand why Allan and Perky got married. She has her home in Maryland and he has his home in Delaware. It's not like they are going to start a family. Perky is a Grandma for the love of god.
ReplyDeletePerky is such the drama queen she probably did it for the room attention.
Perky is a pos mother. What kidn of mother abnadons thier kids?
ReplyDeleteI read the article and could not stand reading what Perky typed. It was like a fingernail scraping across a black board.
ReplyDeleteNext to Prettyone she is about the most ridiculous person in the room. I don't understand why she runs her mouth to Bonnie all of the time, she just makes herself look like the bigger fool.
<< PRANCER WEARS HIS MOMS HI HEALS AND STILL SLEEPS IN BED WITH A TEDDIE BEAR >>
ReplyDeleteYo momma's so stupid, she took you to the drive-in to see "Closed for the season."
<< I read the article and could not stand reading what Perky typed. It was like a fingernail scraping across a black board.
ReplyDeleteNext to Prettyone she is about the most ridiculous person in the room >>
Perky used to be pleasant and interesting. Lately, she's become just another Zombie: mean-spirited, dull, and full of hate.
<< Does anyone have a good recipe for Louisiana boudin? >> RedSky
ReplyDeleteSure, Darling. Take some regular boudin, and dump a bunch of Cajun spices on it.
So much for K2s creative writing, this is nothing more than cut n paste. Perky has a point, Mikey does say "stupid crap".
ReplyDeletelet's be real. Does anyone like K2?
ReplyDeleteI'm a close friend of Alan's and can tell you he didn't marry Perky for love!
ReplyDeleteI like Christopher! I think he is extremely intelligent and loaded with wit. Not to mention that he is one of the few gentlemen that come into the room.
ReplyDelete(Post under your name and I'll post under mine.)
Whatever the reason they got married, they seem happy. Who cares where they live? Whatever works for them.
ReplyDelete<< I like Christopher! I think he is extremely intelligent and loaded with wit. Not to mention that he is one of the few gentlemen that come into the room. >>
ReplyDeleteThanks! Check's in the mail...
<< Whatever the reason they got married, they seem happy. Who cares where they live? Whatever works for them. >>
ReplyDeleteI totally agree.
To the "close friend" of Alans. Have you ever seen them together? I have, and beg to differ with your opinion.
ReplyDeleteHe dosen't live with her that's why he's so happy. He loves the arrangement so he can fuck other women when she's not around. Trust me I know. The second she moves in he'll be done with her.
ReplyDeletePerky seems cool to me. When Alan is done with her I'll take her.
ReplyDeletePerky needs to learn how to dress!
ReplyDeletePerky is cool? perky is a stupid cunt that's what is up. And a ho. She fucks men soon as they meet her then wonders why none stick around
ReplyDeleteAre Perky and Feefers sisters?
ReplyDeleteShe has "changed her evil ways"
ReplyDelete8:01 probably they both dress like great grandmas have no sense of fashion, are stupid as hell in person and ugly as sin.
ReplyDeleteLets throw Mike in the mix. He has no sense of fashion, he's stupid as hell in person (and online) and is ugly as sin as well. K2 isn't much to look at either. Lets keep all the players involved. I've seen Mike throw digs in there to get Perky started. He gets what he deserves.
ReplyDeleteDon't forget Alan 8:18. That man is not attractive at all and is stupid. Nothing he says makes much sense. He tries to bust on people but uses things from 2nd grade.
ReplyDeleteK2 get a life seriously.
ReplyDeletePerky better watch out for Pretty. She's talking to Alan in ims.
ReplyDeletePerky has low self esteem.
ReplyDeleteWhat are you talking about? Alan paid a bill for her. Perks is so stupid.
ReplyDelete<< K2 isn't much to look at either. >>
ReplyDeleteThank you Jesus for making the Zombies think I'm unattractive. And we "all know" that anyone cowardly enough to post that anonymously must be butt ugly him or herself.
<< K2 get a life seriously. >>
ReplyDeleteLike yours? Scouring every article I write hoping there's some morsel in it that you can bash, and then praying that I give you a moment of my attention so you can go back to your idiotic buds to brag about how you dissed me on a blog?
No thanks...
<< (Mike)... is ugly as sin as well. K2 isn't much to look at either. >>
ReplyDeleteYo' momma's so ugly...
when she joined an ugly contest, they said, "Sorry, no professionals."
Deb Here. I personally like Mike and Christopher. Mike and I have had our differences in the past but we have looked past that. And as far as looking at the outside of a person are any of perfect? People need to look at the inside of a person not the outside. That's where their beauty lies. A good heart and a good mind and a wonderful personality and that's what these 2 men have. I have never met either one of them but I would be proud to be in either Christopher's or Mike's company. Alan and Perky seem very happy to me and I am glad that they found each other. It seems that you cant satifsy anyone in there but if their marriage works for them why should any of us say a word.
ReplyDeleteI think it is great that they are together.
And Pretty1 is a sweetheart. She may speak sometimes off of the wall but to me that is what is so endearing about her. She has the most caring heart of a person I have ever met on here and I feel she is truly genuine. So before anyone says anymore maybe all of us should examine ourselves and see what is inside of us.
I think both Christopher and Mike are good people. I've never seen them attack anyone just because Ham didn't like someone.
ReplyDeleteOh please Chris spits on people the second he walsk in the room and Mike spent years in Zeeke's clan till Zeeke attacked the whore he's with.
ReplyDeleteDeb you are truly retarded. How can you call someone a sweetheart who fucked her own daughter over? Examine yourself.
ReplyDeleteI agree. Feefers and Perky have that drab boring thing about the way they dress. Both look like dikes with thier hair too.
ReplyDeleteWhat is Perky going to do when Alan leaves her for Lolita? Does she even know he's paying her bills?
ReplyDeleteHow did Feefers get into this conversation?
ReplyDeleteThink someone said Feefers and Perky look alike.
ReplyDeleteI thought the comments were to be directed towards the "creative writings" of K2. I nowhere saw Feefers mentioned.
ReplyDeleteThat's a diferent article stupid.
ReplyDeleteLet us compare
ReplyDeleteFeefers and Perky both have terrific jobs. Great educations. Husbands. Own their homes.
Bonnie has never worked.Quit school in 10th grade. Has never owned a home. Has never been married. ( who would want her )
Need I say more?
Think before you type stupidity
Perky has NO ROOM to talk about ugly at all.
ReplyDeleteThey do?
ReplyDeleteFeefers was FIRED from two jobs back to back.
Perky is a fricking telephone operator.
They own thier homes?
Try Feefers lives in a near ghetto and Perky lives in a home she inherited.
Bonnie is nothing to do with this. But let's do a comparisen even better.
Cindy and Redsky.
Redsky great career that I won't name But makes over 100k. Cindy fired from the state. Lives on section 8. Redsky owns a home. Both single. One 300 lbs one 110 lbs.
pauls payin lolitas bills right pam
ReplyDeletefeefers man was cheating on her in ims with room women enuff said
Bonnie has nothing to do with this but Cindy and Redsky do?
ReplyDeleteLet's correct your lies.
Feefers wasn't fired from any job. She did recently change jobs like many educated people are able to do. She lives in a nice home they own. That's the point.
Perky is not a phone operator. She's holds high ranking supervisory position with a very large corporation and has worked there for almost 30 years. I dont know if Perky bought her home or inherited it. Either way. she still owns it.
Cindy wasn't fired from the State. She took a medical retirement and she lives in the home her Mother left her. Again, doesn't matter where the house came from, she owns it. Last I saw Bonnie post, Cindy weighs 182 lbs. Guess you're saying Redsky weighs 300 lbs.
Notice you can't defend what was written about Bonnie since it's all the truth. Bonnie calling any neighborhood a ghetto when she lives in the hood in section 8 housing. That's some funny shit right there.
Feefers lives in a Glen burnie ghetto. Hardly a place of pride. Perky has a great job? She's a fucking receptionist and what drugs are you on? SHe just started that job.
ReplyDeleteCindy was FIRED. Her exhusband came in the room and told the truth about her. Why would she live in the home her mother left her when thiers six siblings? Please.
Who cares about bonnie?
I just flew back into Maryland and see I gained quite a bit of weight since I left my destination.
ReplyDeleteThe airlines should had charged me double for my ticket!
MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
PS: Bonnie has worked. So no, what was written wasn't the truth. ::wink::
Bonnie lives in Halethorpe in section 8. Can't get much more ghetto than that. Not sure where you get you so called facts but you're way off. Of course, you know you're lying but that doesn't matter to you. Perky continues to work the same job as she's had for many years. Feefers has an incredible job. Cindy has 6 siblings? Her ex husband did nothing of the kind. Again, the truth isn't important to you. Only the stories you dream up in your head. I've stated nothing but the truth. Sadly, you can't say the same.
ReplyDelete<< I personally like Mike and Christopher... I would be proud to be in... Christopher's... company. >> Deb
ReplyDeleteThanks, dear, I greatly appreciate that. And likewise!
<< And as far as looking at the outside of a person are any of perfect? People need to look at the inside of a person not the outside. That's where their beauty lies. >>
Very well said, and I totally agree.
<< I think both Christopher and Mike are good people. I've never seen them attack anyone just because Ham didn't like someone. >>
ReplyDeleteThanks! But if Paris Hilton asked, I might be very tempted.
Bonnie has held a job a couple weeks here and there over her 54 years of life. Working means, gainfully employed for years. If she had actually worked in her life, she wouldn't be collecting SSI. she'd be getting SSD.Proof positive.
ReplyDelete<< Oh please Chris spits on people the second he walsk in the room... >>
ReplyDeleteYes, of course an occasional expressive spit at selfish, grossly inconsiderate chat addicts is FAR worse than endless hours of calling people, say, a "cocksuckingjewfagbitch."
Bonnie is a mental patient why is this even an argument?
ReplyDelete<< I just flew back into Maryland and see I gained quite a bit of weight since I left my destination. >>
ReplyDeleteI know the feeling, darling. I recently lost my waist. I developed a baby bump and it merged with my love handles to create a straight up and down me. My jeans keep dropping down to hiphugger level. bleeh...
<< I've stated nothing but the truth. >>
ReplyDeleteOne problem of posting anonymously is that it's impossible, in such situations, to tell which prior statements are yours as opposed to some other anonymous poster's.
Bonnie is nothing compared tot he antics of Rose
ReplyDeleteBonnie was involved in a serious accident at a young age. I doubt any of you are strong enough to come through it as she did.
ReplyDeleteMaybe one day, one of you or a loved one will go through the same thing, then we will compare that person to Bonnie.
Until then, my suggestion to a lot of you would be watch what you sow, you may later have to reap the seeds you threw out there so carelessly.
Yet Bonnie is able to type 18 hours a day in a chat room. She's able to research every person who pisses her off. But you claim her accident prohibits her from working? She could get a job answering phones. Filing papers. Data entry. She's on SSI and section 8 because she's too lazy to work like the rest of us do. And the worse part is, she sits in the room and laughs about all of us working for her. Redsky, since you dont mind supporting her sorry ass, why dont you hand her over half of your paycheck each week because the rest of us are sick and tired of supporting her.
ReplyDeleteBut if it were you or one of your loved ones, I'm sure it would be a different story.
ReplyDeleteDoesn't bother me at all bonnie don't work.
ReplyDeleteRedsky, answer the question. You claim she's unable to work but she can type in a chat room 18 hours per day and research her fingers to the bone. That makes sense to you? As to my family, they wouldn't be in a chat room throwing in others faces that she doesn't have to work, others support her. My family has far too much self respect for such behavior. She was well enough to give birth and raise a child but unable to work? When she was once asked why she didn't work when her son was a child, her reply was because she wasn't going to let a babysitter watch him. Nothing at all about her accident. It's all just total bullshit. PS, are you volunteering to give her half of your paycheck?
ReplyDeleteSame thing with Cindy. SHe is unable to work but can stalk everyone left and right. Both on tax dollars.
ReplyDeleteThe most destructive criticism is indifference.
ReplyDeleteUh 6:46 when you post a comment demanding an answer from someone try puttingg your real name. Then you may get an answer.
ReplyDeleteExactly post 12:56PM that is exactly what I was going to type. Thanks
ReplyDelete(It was a ridiculous question anyway.)
ReplyDeleteTen bucks says 6:46 is Cindy. She's always ranting about the same subject. Maybe she should be concerned about her daughter having an out of wedlock child that the state is paying for?
ReplyDelete5020 East Oliver Street is a dump.
ReplyDeleteHow interesting. A Colleen Ulrich and a Jennifer Bledsoe live there.
ReplyDelete6:46 is either Cindy or Perky. Both of them are simpletons.
ReplyDeleteOh my God. That looks like Sanford and Son's house
ReplyDeleteOMG and she has nerve to talk about Bonnie's house. That's a shack if I ever saw one. GHETTO
ReplyDeleteWonder why 6:46 doesn't have the same attitude with Zeeke. I mean he doesn't work or support his own kid.
ReplyDeleteCindy has been sitting in the room for the last few days waiting for RedSky to come into the room so she can knock her down and sit on her until she answers Cindy's question that she demanded be answered.
ReplyDelete