"The Zeeke Cult, R.I.P. May 26, 2012"

(Written 5/26/12 by ChristopherK2 for the Uglier MDers blog)

 

Well, sooooooooo much for my working article, "Top 10 Plans by Zeeke and Vomit to Save the Zombie Room" ("4.  Free Carp Burgers!"). There SHOULD be a LAW that if you're going to commit roomicide, you have to give THREE days notice!  Harumph!

 

Okay, I'm done whining!  On to the full obituary...

 

The Zeeke Cult finally met its demise earlier today, as shown below:

 

 

 

The leader of the Zeeke Cult began to gain his fame about 10 years ago using the methods employed by earlier room cult leaders.  He spent endless hours in the chat room viciously assaulting people, rumor mongering and lying about anyone he didn't like, and so on.  Some normal people responded in kind in self-defense, and thus drama ensued. 

 

Some people were drawn to Zeeke, although they were generally the lesser lights and least popular.  They were apparently attracted to his Al Bundy-like willingness to assault anyone as requested, in return for loyalty.  Many nice people fled the room in disgust, thereby increasing Zeeke's popularity and weakening his opposition.

 

Over time, he even attracted to his side some otherwise nice, normal people for reasons unknown.  Beth, for example, enjoyed Zeeke's willingness to assault her foes, to cook for her, buy her drinks, and kennel her dogs.  She even became Zombie-like, expressing profound anger, cursing heavily, spewing bigotry, etc.  It wasn't pretty.     

 

But as is always the case for such cults, its successes planted the seeds for it eventual failures and ultimate demise.

 

Emboldened by his growing cult, Zeeke made the monstrous mistake of starting his own room.  He forgot one rule of such cults.  If none of your enemies remain handy, what will hold your cult together?  We saw the answer in the logs of the Super Secret Room.  When not railing against their enemies as they appeared on the widget, the cult members had almost nothing in common to discuss.  There was some rather minimal typical Chick/Guy chat, but nothing all that interesting. 

 

The Zeeke Cult peaked shortly after they started their own room, but it soon started to disintegrate.  With little to talk about, they eventually started fighting with each other.  People were bolted for lack of purity or questioning the leaders.  Many fled in disgust or from boredom.

 

Zeeke also made the obvious mistake of relying on Beth.  He bent to her every whim in order to keep her and her friends around, and give the cult a whiff of class and intelligence.  But Beth is nothing if not mercurial.  As she changed, some of her friends left in disgust.  And as she inevitably withdrew from the group, its popularity plunged.

 

Ends come quickly with chat rooms because of the need for a significant number of "regulars" to assure that a minimum size is kept to keep the chat moving.  Over just a few months, almost 2/3rds of their regulars quit, and the average number of people in their room plummeted to just Zeek, Vomit, Mafia and one or two random others.

 

At that point, they fled to a private room just to avoid any further humiliation.  I'm sure claims of improvement will follow on their blogs.  But given that everyone knows they lie frequently, badly, and without remorse, such claims will fall on deaf ears.

 

The Zeeke Cult is done... stick a fork in it.

 

And good riddance!