Ugly stalkable event Saturday

Ugly has decided to start letting you all know where to find him. Not that non-professional peasants like Vomit would have an ounce of intelligence to be able to gain entrance and be socially acceptable at places like country clubs, private islands, or Broadway plays or anything. However, we decided it might make our lives a little bit more exciting if we could tell our dear friends about Billy Bob, Drunk Ronnie, Fat Cindy, or others stalking us. I must admit I'm a tad jealous of all this attention paid to others with the drivebys, calling parents and children, researching incomes and social security wages, writing Section 8, driving to truck stops and mobile homes to take pictures, etc. 

Imagine the high falutin' drama with some stumbling bad-breath drunk Intervention candidate name Ronnie trying to barge past security and saying, "But dat Ugly is here." Or some mentally ill woman name Nanci being led away in handcuffs after saying she's here to, "Chop Monika up. The bitch blogged about me in a penguin suit." Or someone showing up at our neighbor's home in a dirty white pickup truck snapping pictures.

For years, my lovely wife has bugged me to attend this event. I have to admit the thought of watching midgets on horses flying by so fast I get whiplash isn't exactly my idea of fun. I'm not into gambling either. So every year I've said no.

Till she arrived home in the Susie Hat.Yes, this big gigantic hat yellow with a few alternating petals. And the Susie dress. Seeing my lovely figured wife in a yellow sundress with two petals in unmentionable places persuaded me. And the Susie heels, six inch plats with a triangle spike with a big black dot on the center. And the Susie nails. And the threat to dye her hair black and yellow.

Yes, Monika and I are going to Preakness.

Go Bodemeister!!!